Archived Have your parents ever hit you? Did you think the reason was valid/did it change you in any way? (askgoat)
submitted ago by vivalafreakshow
Posted by: vivalafreakshow
Posting time: 4.5 years ago on
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Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
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Archived Have your parents ever hit you? Did you think the reason was valid/did it change you in any way? (askgoat)
submitted ago by vivalafreakshow
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[–] revofire 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
But parents do. I always see it when the parents are angry and want to take out that anger and frustration on the child that is misbehaving. Parents are worse than the children typically because when they have no EASY way out, they just go apeshit and call it a day. Yes it makes the child stop. No the child is not okay.
Want an example? I'll use an extreme analogy so there can be no mistakes in the interpretation. If a kid keeps stealing from your vendor's stall, how do you handle it? Here are two potential options: 1. You simply guard the stall and make sure he doesn't do it again, perhaps try and talk to him, perhaps find his parents, all kinds of options really. 2. You can kill the kid.
There are repercussions sure, but both have the same effect: He's not going to steal from you again.
See how that works? All the parents of the world use this as their defense for their failures of being a parent usually. They say it made him stop, but what else did it make him do? Helplessly submit to authority, make them sub-human with less free choice, etc. This creates the horribly brainwashed youth you see today, same goes for the adults too. Don't you see how they helplessly submit and rally behind absolute evil and lies? I do. I always wondered why and now I understand. They view police as 'authority'. The fuck's that mean? They're servants with a wage. That's all.
When a person actively makes the choice to stop own their own, they are 100x better off than any other case. But that's straying from my point. My point is that I call parents failures because they fail to do the most simple thing: lead by example. They're either never there or when they are, they don't do good by their kids or set a good example.
How's the picture make you feel? http://puu.sh/peyv0/2f0651f0b3.jpg Do you agree? Why or why not?
I know this for a fact that there are phases (quite long ones too) in a kid's life where they will follow the parents to all ends of the earth. They are watching silently (and sometimes not so silently) your every move and action and they will assemble those into full thoughts later. Just because you think a kid is too stupid to understand what you're doing now, doesn't mean they don't gather the information and assemble it later to reflect on it.
In the end, parents like to say they sacrificed so much but apparently not enough. Barely giving your kids enough money to go to an institution of indoctrination and citing having them as kids as the excuse that you did not become a success yourself is wrong. The parents totally could have forged a path through the world but they won't. They don't. And this is their fault.
Lead by example. Do NOT tell people to do what you will (not cannot, WILL) not do yourself.
This is super incoherent but don't attack me on that. Understand what I'm trying to say and realize the truth behind it.
[–] SocratesOP 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Leading by example would work as perfectly as you daydream if you are the only influence on your child's life. Each time they're away at school etc there are other leaders, maybe even children, having profound effects on them.
I think spanking a kid who steals from a vendor is a much more favorable outcome than waiting for him to get legally caught and learn the expensive lesson. Both are learned the same way, with an action and suffering the reaction. There is no substitute for this learning process, as much as you want them to your kids cannot live vicariously through you. As a parent you lead by example yes, but you also correct behavior that you see which could result in your offspring having a tough life.
I've mentioned I don't think senselessly or maliciously beating your kids is okay and is not what we're talking about.
In a mirror situation, everything equal, a kid is stealing from a vendor. One child gets a stern talking to every time he steals, one gets a spanking on his raw hide each time. Who is more likely to steal in the near future?
[–] revofire 1 point -1 points 0 points (+0|-1) ago
Surely, I agree that another method might be better than the more expensive one as you cited with the vendor.
But this is NOT a daydream. The parents intensely influence their children. I guarantee it. Others influence but they will learn the lessons and realize that their true leaders (the parents) were right and they will be infinitely stronger than those with parents who did not fight for their children or themselves.
You must correct the behavior of your children, but do not let the pain and hatred come from you. There are MANY MANY ways to teach a lesson, you can control the situation to make it such that they learn it anyway without having the hit them.
When you understand that simple truth: we have options... then you will understand why it is fundamentally worse to resort to violence.