Archived Did you come out, is there a closet, and does it matter? (asexuality)
submitted ago by GoAskErin
Posted by: GoAskErin
Posting time: 5.3 years ago on
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Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
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Archived Did you come out, is there a closet, and does it matter? (asexuality)
submitted ago by GoAskErin
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[–] peppermintblue 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I don't hide that I'm Asexual, but I don't go waving it around either... well, unless I'm waving with my right hand and I have my ring on. In one respect it defines my life because I'm not out there dating and having sexual encounters like a good portion of people I know are... and in another respect it doesn't define who I am because it's not something I even really think about most of the time and people know me better for other aspects of my life.
I have disclosed my asexuality to a few people at work... mostly because they would be gushing about some guy and would expect me to reciprocate with my own gushing. I'm sure I confuse people though because I do experience short-lived aesthetic attraction and will occasionally gush a bit myself. When I do talk about my own attraction towards someone I do make it quite clear that I am just enjoying their aesthetic appeal and nothing beyond that. My family may or may not have guessed that I am asexual - I'm in my 30's, no kids, haven't dated in over 6 years... but they don't ask and I don't feel the need to explain myself to them.
[–] GoAskErin [S] ago
Oh! Do you wear a black ring on the middle finger, or do you have a different kind of ring...?
I have a little pin I wear on the inside of my clothes sometime. I figure if I see someone out and about who's carrying a symbol openly, I can show them they're not alone by flashing my colors. Even if person doesn't want to talk about that stuff, it's a friendly gesture.
Aesthetic attraction can be really funny in the way that it fakes out other people. You gotta be like, "No, see, I COULD look at this person for hours, think they're gorgeous. Doesn't mean I wanna do anything else though. Maybe paint a picture or play with their hair?"
[–] peppermintblue 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Yea, I sometimes wear a black ring on the middle finger. It's not an everyday wear for me, sometimes I go awhile without thinking about wearing it, but other times I wear it a lot.
I have a small collection of asexual pins too... but I don't really wear them. I just like collecting pins. I had this big pin collection as a kid, most were vintage that my grandparents had given me, and for the life of me can't figure out what happened to them. That's really cute that you wear a little pin on the inside of your clothes. Very stealthy!