Archived Did you come out, is there a closet, and does it matter? (asexuality)
submitted ago by GoAskErin
Posted by: GoAskErin
Posting time: 5.3 years ago on
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Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
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Archived Did you come out, is there a closet, and does it matter? (asexuality)
submitted ago by GoAskErin
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[–] GoAskErin [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
For my part, I almost never talk about my orientation in person. It just doesn't tend to come up, except on occasion to clarify something, when I'm dealing with people I know very well. I don't like to bring it up as a general rule; I kind of dread questions from people who I just really don't want to talk with on a topic like this. As a result, my closest friends know, and a few of my other friends, and a couple trusted coworkers, since, as I said, sometimes something relevant comes up. Internet friends usually find out a lot easier, if it comes up.
I've never really been open about being demi in person, but I also think it's something that should be relatively obvious over time, if you know me. When I did talk to my friends about it, they were pretty cool with it; but I also picked who to talk with, and no one's otherwise confronted me about it. They say it makes sense for me. Sometimes they have questions, but I only feel comfortable talking specifics in person with certain good friends. It doesn't bother me to just be open with them, because it's topic of interest for its mental component, rather than its physical one. I did mention it to my mother and grandmother, but they just went along with it. My gran still expects I'll end up 'with somebody, even if it's just a really good friend'. It's nice that they don't pressure me to have kids. I sort of hinted to my dad a couple times, but... My dad's a story and a half. I think he's given up on seeing me married anyway, so it works out.
I think being on the ace spectrum has definitely helped me form a different perspective on things, whether it's paying attention to the role of sexuality in something or giving advice to people with relationship trouble. I think it's also given me more time and incentive to pursue things that interest me. It's probably also
saved me a lot of moneymade me buy so many baking pans and this really mind-blowing digital piano.I do think that in order to understand me on more than a friendly-passing basis, you need to at least know my inclinations, if not necessarily have it all spelled out. Otherwise I feel like a lot of things I do are just "??", and the rest are attributed to crushes that don't exist.
A little disorganized, but there are my thoughts.