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[–] Precipitate [S] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I've stomached all the whiskey I can for one night so I'm going to try to sleep now. I hope to awake to this current reality with all you fine people.

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[–] ohnoitsaninja 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

People who smoke a little bit of weed every day usually don't have much for dreams. This is confirmed with personal experience and lifelong smokers, a weed tolerance = significantly less dreaming.

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[–] Precipitate [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Which is why quitting gives you crazy fucking dreams. Benzo withdrawal dreams are much fucking crazier than weed withdrawal (yes it exists) dreams though. I quit smoking in case if have to get tested when I found a new job and thought I'd be clever and do untested for synthetic opioids. I used to do a lot of drugs and when I was younger I feel like I was more responsible but this was just not a good time to be playing around with things some consider worse than heroin. I've had opiate withdrawal a couple times in the past but holy fuck I didn't know it could get so bad. Now I see Renton in Trainspotting when he's washing out at his parents house and think man that's not so bad. Writhing in pain literally nonstop for probably the first 12 hours of it and for some reason smelling vomit at all times even though I never threw up. During the worst of it whenever I'd close my eyes it'd just be me at the bottom of a hole with dead bodies being piled on top of me. No open eyed visuals or anything like that but closing my eyes wasn't fun.

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[–] Empress 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Oh honey, you're having awful withdrawals and I'm so sorry. Detoxing is no joke and can be dangerous- how would you feel about getting some medical supervision through this process? It's so much safer to go to the hospital and tell them what you're going through. They are trained professionals and know how to treat withdrawal safely. Please consider giving 911 a call and get to the hospital to get checked out.

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[–] Precipitate [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Without saying too much lets just say I'm a trained professional and it's not a big enough deal to go to outside help other than having some people to talk to.

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[–] Precipitate [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Shit I don't know. Maybe I do need a Valium taper or something. No, no I can hold out. I'd rather just cold turkey it. Gabaergics seem to increase incidence of alzheimers and there's already history of it in my family so I should just fucking deal with this mess I've made for myself now and not fuck myself more in the future.

And I say this after having drank about half a bottle of whiskey. Sure wasn't worried about staying away from gabaergics when I did that.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Precipitate [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I'd been clean for a while, but I obviously don't deal with stress very well and let things go to shit. Trying to crawl back out of this hole though.

Edit: Actually I guess now that I think about it, it hasn't really been that long. I went way further off the rails when my best friend blew his brains out almost 2 years ago.

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[–] jambo 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

You will be alright, go to sleep and you'll wake up feeling much better, I promise. Think of good things as you lay down to rest.

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[–] Precipitate [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I'm trying, but the anxiety builds and I check my phone for a distraction and keep coming back here. I really have to be up in 5 hours so I hope I can get to sleep soon. Glutamine rebound from the alcohol wearing off should be right around then so I should wake up on time regardless of when I fall asleep.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Precipitate [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

A lot were just sleep paralysis, some of these times there was pounding at my bedroom door. Once I got up and opened the door and three people who I thought were my brother and two cousins pinned me to the ground but then I realized I didn't know any of them. Usually I'd just wake up in my bed and then walk out the door to check and see if everything was normal but there'd be people I didn't know or my sheets were wrapped around me pulling me back in the the room or my dog was pushing me back. I walked out of the room to supposedly a birthday party for my grandmother but I didn't know any of the people. I was in the back of a car my second cousin was driving with my brother sitting next to me and then all of a sudden none of the people in the car were any people I knew. There was one dream where I had complete control and created a temple and armored beasts with spears and threw some tigers in there for good measure with a nice long Taj Mahal type pool out front. In one I was at the back of the house in the woods and a guy just asked me how I could tell when they were watching and that was kinda creepy. At one point roots were growing out of the ceiling. One time I walked downstairs and halfway down the stairs everything went purple velvet and there were people everywhere and I flew off. Most of the dreams were pretty mundane and I almost always knew I was dreaming and would shake my head violently to try to wake up but I'd just wake up into another dream and it got very frustrating. At some point in the dreams there would always be a pounding sound that would start and get louder and it was always coming from the left. It was terrifying for some reason and made even the good dreams horrible. One dream there was like no friction and we were all sliding around outside and it was fun as hell. I feel like most people wouldn't even believe me if I told them how much time appeared to have gone by. And that's not even the longest dream time I've experienced, just the most different dreams. I lived by a sunflower farm where the farmer kept a huge bear in a cage for some reason for many days once when I quit smoking weed and had to hardcore benadryl myself to sleep.

Edit: and there were a handful of cool sex dreams too but at least two of them had the pounding noise and none of the were worth any of the rest of it.

Edit 2: Oh and I just remembered where the little kid attacked me when I walked out the door and the one where there was a box of these little cakes out there one time and they were fucking so good but my dog was keeping me away and I woke up to sleep paralysis and then back to the cake dream and tried so hard to get by my dog to taste some more of those cakes but I couldn't get by her.

Edit 3: Oh shit I just remembered the last one of them all 2here I was trying to go to sleep while this shitty 80s movie that was very reminiscent of Real Genius was on TV but there's not actually a TV in this room.

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[–] Diogenes_The_Cynic 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

That sounds like a problem.

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[–] Precipitate [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Yeah a little bit. I'm kind of exaggerating just because I wanted some discussion, but when the pounding started from the dryer I did get a huge rush of adrenaline and questioned if I'd actually woken up yet. I don't want to say that's the craziest I've ever felt but it's at least close.

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[–] OpusMioda 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I'm in my 30's have a full on disability, have had brain surgery, and not even the us army wants me.. I libe at the whim of my rents, hold no respect, and had to drop out of university multiple times due to my disability.. my spcial skills are in the trash, and I am pretty sure people hate me.. every day I wish for death. But, I'll not end myself cuz I'm not a bitch.. I've been in multiple mental prisons and wish death on humanity.. you think your mind is lost? Try being a failure in not just your eyes, but everyone elses whom you respect.

My question would be.. which whiskey do you like the best?

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[–] Precipitate [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

You sound like my brother. It amazes me how he perseveres. Favorite whiskey really depends on mood. If I'm just trying to get real drunk real fast it's bone snapper rye. If I'm trying to just sip and enjoy then probably lagavulin 16 or laphroaig 18. The laphroaig 10 is great too, and it's probably the scotch I drink most often, but I just like the 18 more . If I'm in the mood for even more peat and iodine flavor then ardbeg 10 is a great option.

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[–] Precipitate [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Well I'm giving up on sleep. Whiskey and corn flakes for breakfast.

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[–] Precipitate [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Out of whiskey, onto coffee, baileys and frangelico.

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