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[–] TheBuddha 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

She has her own bathroom. I don't go in there.

Whenever she's glum, I send her off to a day-spa where she's pampered and given a manicure and pedicure. She does have claws, though. She uses them to scratch my back, where I growl a bit like a bear. I'm pretty sure that turns her on.

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[–] 11393995? [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

That's probably why she scratches your back... to get ya growling like a bear.

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[–] TheBuddha 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

It's the most logical of possible reasons.

If you're ever in Rangeley, Maine and you see an older woman driving a green Subaru, she's a blueberry stealing bear. You can tell her I said that, too! If she argues, just remind her that bears aren't exactly known for telling the truth. If you have a picnic basket, hide it! Don't turn your back on it. She will be in there, rummaging around, looking for berries or fish, probably while muttering to herself. I presume the muttering is complaining about packaging being designed for human hands and not bear paws.

Err... If she were awake, she'd tell you that I should not be encouraged. Obviously, bears lie and she is trying to maintain her ruse.