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[–] 11393896? [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

That's like me and my edibles... maybe I'm part bear? I do tend to sleep a lot during the winter...

I bet she is the best cuddler - probably nice and warm.

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[–] TheBuddha 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Alas, no... She shaves off her fur. That's how she fooled me into thinking she was a human. If I'd known she was a bear, I wouldn't have let her in my house!

I'm pretty sure she's a retired circus bear. The circuses all shut down and there's no work for old retired bears. It's not like she has a job. She just kind of hangs around, knits, eats donuts, and steals my berries. She puts honey on lots of things - even in her coffee, on her pancakes, on toast, on peanut butter sandwiches, etc!

I can't get rid of her now. I've grown fond of her and she'd have no place to go. Bears really don't have good employment opportunities. It's not like they have opposable thumbs.

Hell, you should see her when I bring home freshly caught salmon. Oh, that bear is a horrible fish stealer! She's off and running with my fish, banging around in the kitchen, and is probably frustrated 'cause they don't make stove knobs designed for bears. You can't just bear-proof a kitchen. No, no amount of money can do that. It's just not possible.

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[–] 11393950? [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

LOL love the image... Poor shaved bear just wants some fish! Damn drawers, open up already!

Does she get manicures as well? I'm sure she has gnarly claws.