You are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

0
3

[–] TheBuddha 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I do most of the cooking, but the missus does the baking and the desserts. She loves donuts (I'm not sure how she stays skinny) which only adds credibility to my theory that she's really a bear. It's winter so she's already in bed sleeping - 'cause she's a bear. I've seen documentaries, that's what bears do. I've got tons of evidence to support my theorem that she's a bear. Tons!

She denies this, of course. But, we learn from Yogo T. Bear that bears are inherently dishonest. Her credibility is in doubt. Yogi T. Bear was always telling horrible lies to Ranger Rick - and stealing picnic baskets. When she moved in (a process that just seemed to happen) she brought several picnic baskets with her. If you ask where she got them, she'll say, "I don't know. I just picked them up somewhere."

Bears...

0
2

[–] 11393845? [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Damn bears, always with the damn picnic baskets. This is why no one goes out for picnics anymore.

0
2

[–] TheBuddha 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

If you put her in a blueberry patch, you'll know she's a bear. She's down on all fours and putting no berries into the bucket and all the berries into her mouth.

I asked her how many berries she ate when we stopped for lunch. She said, "Not many." There were probably three berries in her bucket, her hands were stained blue, her clothing was stained blue, her lips and teeth were blue, and she had a swollen belly and complained that it ached.

Bears are inherently dishonest. I'm pretty sure she ate all the berries she could fit.

She's smart, however. Crafty is the term... She now waits for me to bring the berries home. I have to put them up quickly, lest they get eaten. You can't just leave unattended berries around this house. They'll disappear!