I was there at the compound. Wouldn't you know it. It was full of people who died or disappeared. There were four former Enron officials, all supposedly dead, since the big 2001 scandal. Ken Lay sat on the curly rococo bronze chair at the end of the Enron table and had his meals served to him by Anna Nicole Smith who was being held against her will, made into a sex slave and servant. But she was one of the good ones. Most of the inhabitants were sent there for their own protection, hiding from the unwashed masses and from the Kardashians. Anna was kidnapped. In faking her demise, her coffin was filled with a dolphin.
The three Sadaam Husseins are always arguing about whose mustache is the prettiest, until Adolf walks in and starts yelling. In spite of the yelling, Adolf is known for his spectacular stache. The Husseins get scared, open the hatch, and crawl into the bomb shelter below. That leaves relative peace for Adolf when Osama walks in with a deck of Iraqi cards to play a few hands of Rumsfeld. Sometimes, Osama takes off his beard and they paint it different colors. Once, Adolf tried it on, but it didn't go with his nicely kept stache. Amelia Earhart used to glide in and provide drinks and rummy tricks, but she has been missed since she died two years ago. On a sadder note, Muammar would be there to play a few hands, but the crowds got to him before he could be rescued.
Today is a special day. George Bush will be dropping in with a parachute. The residents of the compound will put their differences aside and line up in a semi-circle to watch this very old man practically take the world's record for skydiving. Phil Schneider, Vince Foster, and a whole bunch of biological scientists will be filled with glee as they watch the Kennedy assassin land.