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[–] septopus 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I dont know if it is a question of forgiving or a question of what I find important.

Unsafe sex that was lied about becomes an entirely different thing. It is a trespass of consequence. One's inability to really comprehend the risk of danger will temper how important that line item is. When this happened in my youth I had the delusions of invincibility that made it a none issue at the time.

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[–] ValkyrieHerja 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

If someone lied to me and cheated, how could I trust him if he said 'of course I was safe about it!'

I just assume that if someone lied about their sexual relations in one way, they could easily be lying about it in others and you have to assume they are to protect yourself.

If you can disrespect your partner by cheating on them, I don't think you can be trusted to respect their safety to be quite frank.

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[–] septopus 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

According to 'science!' we can detect lies like that. Still, your point stands. That line item of safe sefe exists in a huge cloud of uncertainty. Depending on the value of the relationship (I measure value in happiness, welfare, and personal ascension/growth) I could see myself saying see ya to at least 1 person in my past had I clearer vision, but in general naw. Risk taking that pans out ends up being forgivable. That is the same flawed logic that drives the 'it wont happen to me' shit, so its admittedly tactically/logically less readily defended. I brought up the line item as part of an honest discussion.