This is going to turn out to be quite a long post but I would really appreciate it if a few of you could take the time to read as I am in need of some advice, as everyone I talk to in the real world seem to have a complete different view to what I have.
So I am pregnant with my 1st baby, due in November! My husband and I are extremely excited! We have recently moved back down to where my family live. My husband has just finished University which is why we were able to move closer to my family. Now we are currently living with my mother, my sister and her fiance (they have a house waiting for them but cannot move in just yet due to Covid). My husband has a teaching job secured starting in September but in the mean time he is looking for temporary work, anything he can find. So here is the problem...
We need to move out and rent our own property as soon as possible, we just cannot live here a second longer. My mother seems to forget that my Husband and I have been living independently for the past 4 years (we was able to because our property was funded whilst he was in education). She comes into the bedroom and says things like "You are not in bed yet!? when the baby is here you wont be up this late, I just cant understand it" and makes comments about the way I make my dinners. There are so many restrictions on what I can and cant do and I cant even have my own space in my bedroom because she comes in whenever she feels like it! My husband and I are 22 years old. We know how to run a property pay our bills etc but she seems to forget all of that and honestly I think she likes the fact that we need to rely on her right now. She told me she "has not come up with a rent figure yet" because she in thinking about it, but she told me she is including council tax (which would not have gone up since we moved here, it would have stayed the same). I am completely happy with paying what I owe and what it costs for me to live here, I am not a scrounger... but she also wants me to pay her rent.. am I the only one in the world that thinks this is completely absurd? Perhaps some mothers who have older children can weigh in here? My own mother is actually trying to make a profit from me living here!?? when I am expecting a baby in 4 months and we need to save to rent a house and buy baby things!!
I cant find any houses in my area at the moment as there is a high demand right now, I will take any house that becomes available but its pretty much who calls up first and says they want the house gets it. I just feel so stuck, in a house with a narcissistic mother. When I spoke to my sister about it she said "Well you did plan to have a baby so". If my children are ever in this situation I could not bring myself to charge them rent when I know they are saving every penny that they possibly can!
I guess you could say that at least I am not homeless and I have a mother who is taking us in but I do not feel as though she is doing it for us, she will be living on her own when my sister is able to move into her own house that she recently bought and I remember her saying once "When the day comes where I have to live all alone I just wont see a point in living anymore because I will be so depressed and lonely" huge guilt trip! So she is desperate for me to stay here but yet she is making comments, invading my privacy and charging me to live in her house.
I was just looking for other peoples thoughts on my situation? I just want a happy, clean home to start my family in. My mother is a bit of a hoarder, there is unnecessary things everywhere and its quite dirty but I cant go anywhere else, there is no houses available yet. Any suggestions on what I can do? Thanks in advance