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[–] messdnys [S] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Thank you! Yeah I am learning to let a lot of what my MIL says just bounce off me. She is the only mother-figure in my life (my own mother is a radical feminist and we are estranged), so I want to learn from her as much as is appropriate - after all, she helped raised my husband who is an incredible man. But I'm having to learn to recognize when she's just giving me bad advice.

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[–] TheAntiZealot 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Mothers can only "raise" weak men (assuming they are a guide, mentor, or otherwise persistent figure). Your husband made himself incredible; she didn't. He's internally driven. Give proper credit where it is due.

He likely found a man (or many men) as a mentor or as a role model and learned that way.

I have a poor relationship with my mother and everything good to me came when I distanced myself from her emotionally. When a girl finds me attractive and says something like "thank your mother for raising you because you're awesome" it leaves a bad taste. My mother is why I'm traumatized. Escaping her is why I'm strong.

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[–] messdnys [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Thanks for pointing that out.