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Never let your husband see you completely naked. Creating mystique and allure is important so if you're topless, be sure to be wearing panties. Even if it's a scarf on your neck...just something. You always want to leave him wanting to see more. Try to leave something to the imagination- we're in this for the long haul.
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During your marriage you only have three times when you can refuse your husband sex. Use these times wisely and for only true headaches. If he doesn't get it from you, eventually he'll find it somewhere else.
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Before your husband comes home from work, freshen up. Not only does that mean put on a little lipstick and comb your hair, but also wash your nether regions so you're prepared if he's in the mood. Always keep your lady parts very clean, groomed, and ready to go.
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Wearing unattractive or stained undergarments is never okay. Always be feminine.
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Own several sexy robes. Those authentic Chinese Silk embroidered ones are great and very heavy & lush.
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Be willing to try new things in bed. It's okay if it doesn't work out just be able to laugh at yourselves when that happens. You never know, you may find something new that turns one or both of you on.
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Keep your hands & feet groomed and your skin moisturized. Don't neglect your face, neck, and chest.
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Stay out of the sun and always wear a hat. Suntans (aka sun damage) may seem like a good idea in your 20s, but you'll look your age and beyond by the time you're 35. Avoid sun and you'll always look at least a decade younger.
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Have a few pretty nightgowns. When I got married, my mother gifted me several vintage French nightgowns. They're subtly sexy and see-through if the sunlight hits it just right.
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Have an evening scent. Something very soft & subtle where he has to get very close to you to be able to smell it. Spray a bit on your hair brush and run it through your hair.
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After intimacy, be sure you go to the bathroom so you don't get a urinary infection. While there, turn on the hot water and grab a clean washcloth and wet it. Give your husband a gentle cleaning so he doesn't have to get out of bed. Ask him if he needs any water, etc. Geisha that man- let him know how grateful you are.
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Don't use sex as a weapon or a bargaining chip. Your husband will resent you and hate you for it. Sex is a wife's (and husband's) duty. Fulfill this role joyfully because sex is a beautiful thing.
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Don't lose your figure and lose the baby weight. If you pack on pounds he'll still love you but he'll be thinking of someone else when the lights are off. Some men are so repulsed by excessive weight gain that they choose to leave the marriage. Just something to consider.
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Dress in a style that he appreciates (dress for him). Don't show too much skin. For instance, if you're showing a little leg the rest of you should be covered. If your outfit shows a bit of cleavage then you shouldn't be showing any leg or back You get the idea. Be classic and subtly/unintentionally sexy. If it looks like you're trying then you failed.
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Accessories: Less is more. Don't wear all your great jewelry with an outfit. I believe it was Coco Chanel that said, "before you leave the house take a look in the mirror and remove one accessory".
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Learn to walk in heels correctly or stick to flats. Little is more unattractive than a woman that can't walk naturally in heels.
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Always have a book you're reading. Part of a wife's job is to be an interesting conversationalist...have something interesting to say other than what you had for lunch.
This is all I can think of off the top of my head. Please add what you were taught (or important things you learned) in the comments below. Thank you <3
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[–] 2nddammit 2 points 12 points 14 points (+14|-2) ago (edited ago)
Number 1 is way off base. It is withholding behavior, not sharing and availability. Are you going to wear a t-shirt when you shower together? Selective articles of clothing can add to attraction at times, but the purpose of the wrapping on a gift is to be removed to reveal what is underneath. Mystique and allure are mental phenomena. Flirtatious comments and interactions reinforced by physical intimacy keep the mental spark alive. Refusal to bare all in intimate moments will cause frustration, not connection.
[–] 18676151? [S] 2 points 12 points 14 points (+14|-2) ago
Obviously tailor to you and your spouses needs. I go skinny dipping with my husband so he's definitely seen me completely naked. I just try to make sure he doesn't become accustomed to seeing me naked. Make sense?
[–] AbjectSubstance 1 point 5 points 6 points (+6|-1) ago
I thought it was good advice.
[–] beefartist 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
I know it is hard to ask without condescension but we need to start asking commentators (maybe a flair is in order?) if they are married/have kids. There is an attitude put there that ALL viewpoints are equally valid and I would argue that relevant experience counts for something. Are we taking bets on the above commentators status? Every comment you make has a least an implued hint of experience, whilst so many "know it alls'" have non.
[–] Hippie_Housewife 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I feel the same way. There's nothing wrong with letting him regularly see you naked. My husband sees me that way pretty much daily, yet my feminine mystique is still very much in place for him. He still finds me alluring and sexy even after having three babies and no longer looking exactly like my teenage self. I like your analogy of wrapping paper...you don't leave little pieces stuck on the gift to make the recipient want it more. But I think overall her point can be taken as, don't stop trying to be beguiling and sexy for your husband. And that's valid.
[–] ALIENS2222 1 point 11 points 12 points (+12|-1) ago
Clone yourself... Millions and millions of times. -Every man ever. ARE YOU LISTENING LADIES???
[–] 18691860? [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Just because I know the right thing to do, doesn't mean I always do it. I make mistakes and am plenty flawed. I can be moody, irritable, and too serious at times. I'm just a woman in the world that's trying to be a slightly better version of myself than yesterday, because yesterday I wasn't a peach to live with ;)
[–] NosebergShekelman 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago (edited ago)
My momma told me that if I couldn't cut the mustard to lick the jar. I don't know what that means but she said it. oy vey
[–] callthehambulance 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
The robe thing is spot on. I inherited my Grandmother's silk kimono style robe. It's surprisingly warm but so pretty.
And the book part? My ex Husband and I used to read a book together. We would do a few pages or a chapter together each night, taking turns to read it, and it was lovely to do so
[–] 18675639? [S] 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Good silk lasts generations. You're a lucky girl. Love that idea of reading a book together..so lovely <3
[–] callthehambulance 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
It does, doesn't it? If my nephews have girls I'll pass it on to the eldest :) It's a really classy and timeless piece as well.
Audio books can also be a good substitution. I liked (and still do) doing needlepoint with one on in the background
[–] Le_Squish 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
An additional note about maintaining freshness. It's not good to wear tight underwear all the time. Sometimes none is best. Historically, women didn't wear much in the way of underwear when not menstruating and in the west, traditional panties were open crotch. Get some air down there.
Also, ferments (lactobacillus) can help balance PH in the vagina. If you find yourself having issues with itch but no symptoms to indicate bacterial vaginosis or yeast infection, your vagina might be too acidic. Adding more natural ferments to your diet can fix this.
[–] callthehambulance 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Oh my goodness, this is so true. I was LDS and the garments (magic underwear, if you've heard of it) were known to be a horro for LDS ladies in causing UTIs and other issues.
[–] Charilko 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Historical clothing nerd here...
So true. Until the 1910s, underwear consisted of a chemise and open drawers (open drawers only coming into fashion in the mid-1800s). Panties didn’t exist. This was largely a practicality thing, as wearing panties with a corset just does not work. I hadn’t considered the UTI/yeast infection thing but that makes sense too.
Modern women get wigged out by the concept; I can’t get the girls at the historical site where I volunteer to understand why they should go “period” with their undergarments. But it’s super comfy...
[–] SIayfire122 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
My grandmother was very oldschool. She would redo her makeup and put on something nice just to go to the grocery store, even after my grandfather passed away. She also kept a pot of perpetual stew on the back burner for hungry children.
Sexy, yet modest nightgown. Guys. She likes looking sexy. You like it when she looks sexy. Buy her sexy stuff. Maybe something like this too.
I'd like to change this to almost never. If you're having some fun in bed, there's nothing wrong with wearing absolutely nothing. Similarly, wearing a towel when you come out of the bathroom gives him a visual tease, but there's nothing wrong with dropping the towel right before you put on underwear, giving him a couple seconds of the full visual appeal.
Of course you only have so much control over your weight while pregnant, but you shouldn't use this as an excuse to let yourself waste away. A person can gain a lot of excess weight over 6 months or so. Two of my sisters were lucky and remained thin with a basketball belly. The third had more trouble, which was only compounded by being pregnant more frequently than the other two.
It's also worth noting that you might have an extra 5lbs from having more blood and bigger boobs. You should be able to get within 10 pounds over time with little effort, but that last 5 pounds might give you trouble should you still be storing extra fat in your boobs and carrying the extra blood.
[–] Ledurblaka 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I LOVE that pajama set!
[–] CrustyBeaver52 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
When Voat gets rich you should be endowed an academy.
[–] 18677174? [S] 0 points 20 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago (edited ago)
I've always wanted to open a finishing school! A place to get young women prepared for marriage with classes on how to cook, keep house, entertain, cheesemaking classes, the works.
[–] 9NaughtZ 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
If you do I will buy the curriculum.
Would love to collaborate.
[–] CrustyBeaver52 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I can think of no one better qualified.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
[–] Maltherian1 1 point 1 point 2 points (+2|-1) ago
I cracked up at cheese making. Cheese is the one food I have no self control around. If my girlfriend made great cheese I would be screwed. Goodbye six pack. Hello keg
[–] FSHLLtOW 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Empress, how would a southern gentleman go about telling his woman that that thang stanks? She's got to know right? I'm thinking if it reeks, she knows and is doing it on purpose. For what purpose I can't imagine but on purpose none the less.
[–] 18689476? [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Have you taken the subtle approach yet by telling her to go take a shower so y'all can have sexy time?
Some questions I have: Is it a hygiene issue? Does she shower regularly? If so, it's not a hygiene issue but a vaginal health issue.
For Vaginal Health
Bacterial Vaginosis and Yeast Infections are very common. Medical Drs prescribe drugs but the infections tend to come right back because the symptom is being treated, not the cause. What I do to keep my vagina in tip top condition is add a drop of this along with a drop of Iodine in a pint of water first thing in the morning. As @Le_Squish mentioned, pH imbalanced vaginas can be treated effectively by regularly eating fermented foods which are exceedingly simple to make at home.
How I would want to be told by my husband would be a concern question. Something like, "honey, is your pH ok? It smells stronger than usual". I also like people to be very straight forward with me so I'm not sure how that would work on your wife. @Le_Squish is very good with these types of issues and may have some insight.
You can always make her an account and subscribe her here. Squish and I would happily make a Vaginal Health post if you'd think it would help.
[–] FSHLLtOW 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Thank you so much. I'll take what you've said and make it work. She is on lots of medication for different problems so that may have a lot to do with it. Again, thank you!