My husband works directly with a woman who is in her early 20s. I occasionally have cause to interact with her as well. I hadn’t seen her in a while and recently saw her. She had wrinkles and lines like she was at least 15-20 years older than she was. She was still on the heavy side despite her #gymlife t-shirt and Facebook selfies of her at the gym. Come to find out that she has multiple bi-racial children who are 7-9 years old. Meaning she was 13-16 when she had her kids. The dad was gone and they all live with her parents. She is rarely home with them because she spends her evenings drinking and partying, and when she isn’t drunk at the club she is frequently picking her kids from school buzzed. She’s hooking up with multiple random people she meets at bars at night. this is all by her own admission, because she goes to work and talks non stop about her problems. She will tell anyone who will listen how she can’t hold down a relationship, how she’s lonely, how the men she hooks up don’t seem to care about her or take interest in her. She is surrounded by drama and she backstabs any female within her vicinity. She cries and spills the beans to anyone who’ll listen.
This is what this lifestyle does to women. Alcohol is not your friend. Random sex isn’t fulfilling or worthwhile. You will feel hollow afterwards and the party lifestyle will take its toll.
My sister is in her early twenties as well. She married at 19, and stays at home with her two babies. She has an overall happy and fulfilling life and says missing out on all of that saved her life.
You have a choice.
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[–] callthehambulance 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Some people need to make mistakes in order to learn. And as sad as that is, I'd rather someone come late than never.
However, when kids are involved I think it's truly sad. I can't hate mixed race children. They're innocent children who are in no way to ever be held responsible for the actions and idiocy of the people that gave them birth. To me the saddest aspect of them is that they fit nowhere. I find it awful that mixed race (specifically black-white children) are shunned by the black community if they seek an education, talk in a certain way, are accused of thinking they are "better", and so on.
It's genuinely tragic and I think it's awful that such innocent humans are subjected to such cruelty from such a young age. How on earth could a person flourish and become a decent person when they're treated so from a young age?
[–] Palindromedan [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I agree, better late than never. I had my “hard knock” learning along the way as well and I am not without fault - that is why I want to warn the young ladies who are at a time where they can make a choice and pick an easier path. Learning a valuable lesson doesn’t have to be hard. My hope was that some of the younger women perhaps can see their friends or older siblings in this story and draw parallels. If it makes just one person’s path easier than it’s worth it!
I feel badly for children who are born without forethought to having a whole, intact family no matter who they are. I highlighted the children in this scenario because they are, sadly, an obstacle to the woman’s dating life and the bi-racial aspect only compounds this problem for her.