Article/Blog Anon Archived Woman Realizes That She's Been Accidentally Abusing Her Husband This Whole Time (thefederalistpapers.org)
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Archived on: 2/2/2019 10:00:00 AM
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Article/Blog Anon Archived Woman Realizes That She's Been Accidentally Abusing Her Husband This Whole Time (thefederalistpapers.org)
submitted ago by 2828596?
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[–] cyclops1771 0 points 13 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago
If my wife did that (and she used to, oh believe me, she used to!) I do not stand there and simply take it.
I would grab the meat, throw it in the garbage, and tell her to "go get it yourself." And walk away.
The man has ALLOWED this to happen by not standing up for himself in deference to her. She deserves deference when she is to be respected. Still respecting a person who is not acting respectable to you creates a one-way street and leads to this type of dichotomy.
It is NOT 100% up to the woman to change or make the adjustments. Marriage and family is a partnership that requires respect on both sides and accepting of our mistakes.
Now, that hamburger moment is, "Oh Thanks honey for picking up the hamburger!" Maybe even a kiss. Look at it, see it's the wrong kind. And then a gentle reminder, "You saved me so much time with this, thank you, you really saved the dinner! Do you remember when we talked about making healthy food for the kids? Just so you know, the 70-30 type actually is a lot fattier than the other. IN the future, can you try to get the 80-20 or better type? I don;t want the kids to overeat on the bad stuff and get fat or lazy! Thanks dear! You rally did save the day!"
Or something like that, (maybe not not grossly syrupy!) - the old "Catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
Our example at home is the "Honey Do" chores. I am notorious for forgetting things. Every day at work, I have to write down anything that needs to be done or I will forget it. And an Email isn't sufficient. I need a physical list that I can cross off.
She used to get so angry at me for forgetting whatever she told me. Did you pick up dog food? Did you remember to put Drano down the kids sink? etc. Invariable, my response is "No", so she purchased a small erasable board on the refrigerator door where she can write the things she needs done. I can simply walk up there, see what she needs, and accomplish these things for her. It is my privilege to help her around our house with things she can't do, or doesn't feel comfortable doing. I guess it's why we work so well together. It has been a joy growing old together. It's not always been easy or pacific, but it has been a joy.
[–] 14802990? [S] 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Wish I could sticky comments.
[–] cyclops1771 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Thanks, dear!
I see your articles and posts, and hey show the woman in the group understanding their actions, and I just want to ad the male perspective, because a traditional family has a traditional husband, and the "make me a sammich" meme gets too much play, and I want males to understand that a woman's place in not below them, but in a true partnership, but with different roles, with 'managerial' oversight of each role. It's managerial, not master/slave, and I think that is the key - it's "Would you make me a sammich?" and she says yes, you say thank you. When she asks you to take out the garbage or pick up some hamburger on the way home, you say yes, and she says thank you.
Only by mutually respecting each person's role in the house does it work so specially.
I truly love this subverse. thank you, @Empress .
[–] jollux ago
Honestly, the difference between different grades of beef mince is so minuscule that it doesn't need to be addressed. If she wants something different, she can get it herself. Maybe there was a large price difference between grades today, and her husband was doing the smart thing.
[–] watitdew 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
Woman Thinks Low Fat Diets Are Healthy
[–] stbelmont 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Hopefully my future husband doesn't freak out at me trying to use all the fat. Last night there was some butter left in the frying pan and I was running avocado and tomato slices through it.
[–] watitdew 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
plz marry me plz
[–] Sosacms 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Jeez... Shouldn't be treating her son like that either. Belittling women, will always raise broken sons.
A lot of serial killers that killed young women, were raised by belittling, man hating, single mothers. Her kids will go completely emotionless inside, after seeing first hand how toxic uncontrolled emotions can be.
[–] SirDigbyChikenCaesar 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Yep, I read this and went right back to my childhood. I was emotionally dead for year after having a single mom.
[–] Sosacms 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
It's the only defense when bombarded with over the top emotional responses. People naturally shut down when getting nagged at, not just teenagers.
[–] SirDigbyChikenCaesar 1 point 2 points 3 points (+3|-1) ago
I really like Dalrock for consistently covering this subject. If you want the red pill from a Christian perspective he's your guy. He compares the Biblical Headship/Helpmate male/female relationship with the modern courtly love relationship that he finds across the mainstream and Christian media. I was going to post an article he wrote a few weeks ago but the first one on his blog covers it perfectly. https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2018/11/02/whose-job-is-it-to-keep-mama-happy/
[–] 14803941? [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Just finished reading. Simply brilliant. Thank you.
[–] Dortex 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
https://i.imgtc.com/ZfIuYfh.jpg