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[–] Native 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Not a Lady.

What is it that you want in your life? You said that you have been in one relationship after another for 10 years so at minimum you are approaching your late 20's/early 30's. Do you want kids? Do you want to get married?

If you want kids and marriage you are QUICKLY approaching the point where having kids is going to be tremendously difficult.

You need to approach finding a man like you would finding a job. You need to make yourself available and seek a good man and vet the things you want from a man.

Write down what you want from a guy and what compromises you can make. You aren't going to find a Chad because that's not realistic. Be realistic with your life.

If you don't want a family and kids and actually want self-improvement then my advice will be much different. Obviously

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[–] callthehambulance [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I can't bear children naturally but would happily adopt or be a step parent, although I understand the seriousness of getting involved with someone with children already. I get that the dynamics of a relationship with someone who has children already would be very different.

I don't know if I would want to get married again. I have a job I enjoy very much and am in postgrad education doing a PhD/working in healthcare. I enjoy my job a great deal, especially the teaching and research side of it and I love seeing students grow and flourish and find confidence in themselves - it's so rewarding.

A list is a great way to start and I'd not considered that, but I'm going to give it a lot of thought over the next few days. Thanks for the advice on that :)