I recently ended a relationship with a man. It wasn't especially long lasting, and emotionally I feel fine, although sad. There wasn't anything fundamentally wrong with he and I, but I'd not been single in about ten years. I'd gone from one relationship to another, for a lot of reasons (thank heavens for therapists, I'm picking apart the reasoning for all this slowly and working through it) but we had different desires in the long run and would have made one another profoundly unhappy.
What advice would you ladies offer to someone wanting to improve themselves through a period of being alone? I'm on top of my finances and not in debt, but I guess I'm looking to cultivate new skills or habits that will help me to be a better version of myself for when I feel ready to start seeing someone again. Are there any skills you'd suggest I learn? I can cook fairly well but I'd like to have better food storage, I guess?
Sorry this is a little vague, i guess it all made more sense in my head, but I feel as though I want this period in my life to be productive and healthy and to come out of it a better version of myself
Thanks a lot.
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[–] 14006129? 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
When I took time alone I focused on physical fitness, learning to cook a wider variety of meals, dealt with personality problems that had strained previous relationships, and read lots in Fascinating Womanhood and Getting to I Do. I mainly learned how to be alone gracefully.
I made a list of everything I'd ever said "I've always wanted to do/try that" about, and then started ticking things off the list. It turns out I don't like driving a motorcycle, and I'm glad I took the classes -- now I don't ever have to say "I've always wanted to get my motorcycle license" again. Things ranged from tiny to huge:
Some of these activities grew into new hobbies, some were one-and-done. But undertaking this project made me a more interesting and fulfilled woman. I met my fiance just shy of a year of being single -- I wasn't looking for a new relationship, but I was definitely in a sane space for one.
Best of luck!
[–] callthehambulance [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
"I wasn't looking for a new relationship, but I was definitely in a sane space for one."
That's the point I'm looking to get to. And I love what you say about being alone gracefully. That really struck a chord with me.As does your observation about dealing with personality issues which had strained previous relationships. That's some great advice there, so thank you for the insight and taking time to reply.
Also, congratulations on the engagement and so many warm wishes for a long and happy life together to you both!
[–] 14033049? 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Hey, thank you! Best of luck. Self-improvement is always worth it.