[–] cyclops1771 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Kids are out of house.

Now, go do something for herself - take art classes, form a book group, get a job, go back to school.

She has done her job as a mother to society. If she misses dealing with children, go volunteer at a children's wing at a hospital. Do readings at the library. Volunteer at schools to be a tutor. Volunteer around the church.

So, my advice to you to give to here is "Fill your days with work, like you used to do at home, but where it can bring the most joy to you personally, and stop spending all your time brooding over how things could have been different. Idle minds, like idle hands, are the devil's workshop."


[–] SquarebobSpongebutt 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

It is very important to find the "next you". So many women look at their marriage as failing when the reality is that they are having an issue adjusting to a different role.


[–] cyclops1771 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

My mother went through this when the 4th child got into High school - returned to university, worked as a volunteer at a Social work building (bad parents, not bad kids) with my wife, went to Mass every morning.

Now, she works for the Church, helping poor families by running a donation pantry, "keep the lights on" bill pay program, etc. It's rewarding for her, it helps the community become a true community, and it allows people to have some sort of dignity rather than expect government to take care of them. I'm really proud of her for finding a calling of sorts, rather than just drink to alleviate the boredom of the empty house.


[–] Caesarkid1 2 points 5 points (+7|-2) ago  (edited ago)

They likely just need some couples counseling and time apart. Historically men would take frequent leaves from the household to do business and whatnot. This likely helped immensely by giving them both time away from one another to cool off. The only problem with this in modern times is that sneaky weasel who wants to fuck the wife while hubbies away in a society that thinks this somehow empowers her when it is really anti-religious and sinful.

Edit: I know a husband and wife who divorced and now they get along greatly as they have seperate homes and visit with one another multiple times throughout the week on an amicable basis.


[–] DefenderOfTruth 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Well, she did marry the guy and even raised kids with him. Obviously there’s something she loved in him. At this point no use of her thinking what she should have done. That’s toxic thinking.

I know I’m like a broken record recommending this book around here, but I’d recommend she read Fascinating Womanhood. It’s an old book (1950’s?) But is written in a very engaging lively way. I think she’ll see her slumped Marriage turn around if she’ll pick herself up first.

I notice when I’m down, my husband goes down too. For some reason, it’s very hard for a husband to change the emotional energy of a marriage. It has to be the wife who does it.


[–] plankO [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Thanks, I'll look up this book too


[–] 475677 2 points 2 points (+4|-2) ago 

If she's able to support herself she should do what she feels is right for her otherwise she needs to get over herself and accept that marriage is meant to mean til death do us part.