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[–] Funkypurplekitty [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

The fact is that we let simple things like unhappiness ruin our marriages. Of course there are reasons like real physical violence where a marriage can not be sustained. Both parties should be physically safe.

And I get your thoughts of the benefit to divorce as a consequence of not letting yourself get into bad or selfish behavior although I'm not sure how much I agree. I think even without it being a go to it had always been there and even without it we still have a fear of losing the one we love. I think the most successful marriages don't entertain the idea of divorce.

 I will tell my son not to stick around a marriage if his wife isn't building it up or has let the intimacy die.

I don't think this is a reason the divorce though. Counseling, would be a good suggestion in the instance though, for just her and maybe marriage. Of course this is not ok but these are issues that can usually be worked though.

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[–] ZenAtheist ago 

I get what you're saying, and I guess the way I put it seems a bit cavalier. I guess a lot gets lost in translation when you try to communicate complex ideas in short sentences.

This subject really can't be done justice without a good face to face conversation. Essentially, without loyalty, love, committment, friendship, etc... If our marriage breaks down in these areas and all that's left is the dead skeleton of responsibility - I'm walking out the door today.

This is not a casual or flippant thing. I have put everything into my marriage and family. I intend to hold myself to the same standard. But I have no illusions... Marriage isn't mystical - we build it, or it crumbles.

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[–] Funkypurplekitty [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Marriage isn't mystical - we build it, or it crumbles.

I 100% agree with this I just believe that most of the time we can build back up from the rubble.