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[–] Goater 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

Every action like this serves so many benefits.

It makes him feel better about himself for getting the tasks done.

You feel better because not only did you get the job done, you did it in a way that mentally benefits your man.

The way you did it was great, it improves him by increasing his motivation in general, just through the association that you want the tasks done to make him feel better, that it isn't about your wants or any past incident.

It's not so much being selfish from us, sometimes we can just act like stubborn kids if we feel like you are pushing a task as a form of punishment, so will dig our heels in, leading to an unnecessary argument where we both expend more energy than the tasks would have taken. And even though you may be right, he will go away feeling wronged.

The way you phrased it immediately dispelled all that for him, or from how it sounds with his word choice, he already knows that you only want the best for him.

Also, his subconscious would have picked up on the slight change in how you treated the situation and started the pattern of "getting my tasks done leads to less arguments" in your relationship.

I'm sure if you continue to treat similar situations like this in future, you will only continue that pattern and improving his motivation, which in turn will better both your lives in many areas.

Also, I never thought the stereotype was naive from many of the films or shorts I watched, I thought, as Empress sums up in the top comment that the perfect ideal was to "know how to get things done with out a fuss."

As in, you girls could prepare dinner for twelve without help, but if the situation arose you were more than capable of also grabbing the rifle and putting down a home intruder, if it came down to it.


[–] elegant_air [S] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

I'm really starting to see the positive ripple effects of being less harsh and more empathetic. I definitely think you hit the nail on the head with "even though you may be right, he will go away feeling wronged." This is why it was such a victory for me today to address my flaws before they caused any damage. I realized I spent far too much time accusing and trying to prove myself right instead of realizing that we're a team and that's not how teamwork is done (especially if I don't want to wear the pants, which I don't).

Thanks for your words, very good points made. I appreciate it!