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[–] Empress 0 points 35 points (+35|-0) ago 

Thank you so much for writing this. And yes, you summed it up well with, "this gentle 50's wife figure wasn't as naive as I was told she was, traditional wives really know how to get things done without a fuss!". A traditional wife knows how to bring out the best in people- I'm so glad you're with us and are trying out the techniques at home. They really do work and everyone becomes happier!

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[–] elegant_air [S] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Glad to be here learning!

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[–] Empress 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

It's so great having such a big support group. We're all learning and there are so many people here to bounce things off of.

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[–] luckylemon 0 points 24 points (+24|-0) ago 

This sub is one of my favorite aspects of voat. Everywhere else, the advice is "leave him", ignoring the reality that bruised doesn't necessarily equate with irretrievably broken. You really learn what love is all about when you stand beside your husband as he falls, and you stumble and quake to catch him, right him, and see the way he looks at you. It's different than before because you've earned a level of trust not previously offered. Handling your husband's shortcomings with grace and respect goes miles and builds loyalty. Never miss a chance to show how big your heart is - love is a verb.

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[–] elegant_air [S] 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

I love this sub for the same reason - I grew up in a very liberal area and only recently did I start realizing that the feminist agenda was toxic to my relationship. I'm much more of a fix it kind of person versus throwing something away and I think the same applies to significant others - I've watched so many women in my life throw good guys away for very dumb reasons. I love how this sub is constantly teaching me how to raise the men in my life up versus taking them down.

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[–] luckylemon 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I love how this sub is constantly teaching me how to raise the men in my life up versus taking them down.

So eloquently stated. There isn't very much support in the liberal world for putting one's ego aside and thinking long and hard about what a husband might really need from his wife. I held very liberal beliefs well into my thirties, when slowly, the red pill was administered in the form of the female misery by which I found myself surrounded. I started asking questions, began to appreciate the wisdom of generations before, and found that I had been creating quite a mess myself. It was a tough, tough time. Unlearning a lie is far more difficult than accepting the truth because the road is fraught with doses of self-loathing and embarrassment. But once I brushed my ego aside, reality was clear: I had been sold a lie, the lie was a monster, and I had not a receipt with which I could return it or a store to which I could call and complain. All I had was a myself and the truth.

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[–] WhiteRonin 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

I'm a guy and I'm gonna say most men are simple and you women think we are more intricate than you are ... We're not and sadly we probably rank and higher than your normal house dog.

Give us a bone, pay our rumps, and say good boy and watch how we wag our tails. Treat us like shot and watch your favorite pair of high heels end up as a chewy toy :-)

Really, we are that simple.

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[–] 9366753? 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I think that explains why men tend to love dogs more and women tend to love cats more: dogs are very simple and incredibly loyal and protective if treated right, while cats are complicated and a challenge that can even keep adults fully occupied just handling them.

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[–] WhiteRonin 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Very true. A dog is very easy to expect how they will react while a cat is catty ;-)

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[–] Le_Squish 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

Yah, we are so happy for you.

Men aren't so hard. You did a wonderful job of realizing he had an unmet need and wasn't simply being slothful. Keep it up.

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[–] elegant_air [S] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Thank you! I've really been learning to better compose myself and be more understanding and less forceful. I'm hoping it'll make me more agreeable not just in my relationship but in general.

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[–] 9365852? 2 points 1 points (+3|-2) ago 

Men aren't so hard.

Unless that's what you're aiming for - then you might wanna look at Viagra :^)

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[–] Goater 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

Every action like this serves so many benefits.

It makes him feel better about himself for getting the tasks done.

You feel better because not only did you get the job done, you did it in a way that mentally benefits your man.

The way you did it was great, it improves him by increasing his motivation in general, just through the association that you want the tasks done to make him feel better, that it isn't about your wants or any past incident.

It's not so much being selfish from us, sometimes we can just act like stubborn kids if we feel like you are pushing a task as a form of punishment, so will dig our heels in, leading to an unnecessary argument where we both expend more energy than the tasks would have taken. And even though you may be right, he will go away feeling wronged.

The way you phrased it immediately dispelled all that for him, or from how it sounds with his word choice, he already knows that you only want the best for him.

Also, his subconscious would have picked up on the slight change in how you treated the situation and started the pattern of "getting my tasks done leads to less arguments" in your relationship.

I'm sure if you continue to treat similar situations like this in future, you will only continue that pattern and improving his motivation, which in turn will better both your lives in many areas.

Also, I never thought the stereotype was naive from many of the films or shorts I watched, I thought, as Empress sums up in the top comment that the perfect ideal was to "know how to get things done with out a fuss."

As in, you girls could prepare dinner for twelve without help, but if the situation arose you were more than capable of also grabbing the rifle and putting down a home intruder, if it came down to it.

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[–] elegant_air [S] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

I'm really starting to see the positive ripple effects of being less harsh and more empathetic. I definitely think you hit the nail on the head with "even though you may be right, he will go away feeling wronged." This is why it was such a victory for me today to address my flaws before they caused any damage. I realized I spent far too much time accusing and trying to prove myself right instead of realizing that we're a team and that's not how teamwork is done (especially if I don't want to wear the pants, which I don't).

Thanks for your words, very good points made. I appreciate it!

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[–] YoHomie 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

Blowjobs go a long way to motivate a man too... Just sayin'

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[–] Empress 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

^

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[–] ShittyAdvice 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

And sammiches...maybe even a blowjob while eating a sammich.

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[–] elegant_air [S] 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

This is why once a month we have "steak and a blowjob" day in my household.

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[–] BoredSkeptic 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Now, how do I make my wife start treating me like this?

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[–] Empress 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I'd encourage her to join us here on this sub. My husband was reluctant to get on Voat so I made him an account and blocked subs that I was certain he wouldn't appreciate- maybe you can do this for your wife and subscribe her, kind of letting her discover this on her own?

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[–] Voopin__Voopin 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

GUESS WHAT?

WIFEY JUST AGREED TO JOIN THIS PLACE!

@Le_Squish

She's pretty redpilled IMO, so I dunno if I'm gonna block anything for her. What I'm probably going to do is bookmark /v/traditionalwives on her phone. :)

Stay classy, ladies. Cheers :)

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[–] WhiteRonin 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

He doesn't like the hot Asian babes and boobs for putting subs ???

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[–] Kadynce 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

i love this advice. i needed it for today. :)

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