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[–] OneOfTheBoys 1 point 9 points (+10|-1) ago 

I think that was a good approach. Ladies need reassurance and leadership, not pandering or feeding anxieties.

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[–] TheOneTrueGoose [S] 1 point 8 points (+9|-1) ago 

Modern liberalism seems to instruct that the woman is always right, no matter how upset she is or what topic she is upset about. The surest way to cripple a child or a woman (or yourself, even) is to allow them to permanently avoid everything that makes them feel uncomfortable, even if it's something their peers can do easily.

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[–] Muh-Shugana 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Good that you noticed that your system applies to kids as well. Kids and women have pretty similar requirements in terms of guidance from the man/father.

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[–] stbelmont 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I see here in the comments "a woman just needs a man's leadership" and no recognition of factors that could be causing a person to be having troubles. To go off the example in the original post, but changed so as to be a more general example and not the specific childless wife, a wife might be brought to a lovely nature park for healthful reasons, but if she's suffering from nutritional deficiencies--giving birth and nursing took a lot out of her, and her thoughts are to losing weight with a low-fat or vegan diet, not on a healing or rebuilding nutrient-dense Preconception diet towards her next pregnancy, and due to years of birth control pills and some rounds of antibiotics, her digestion is sub-par contributing to her brain and body not getting the nutrition it needs, and even though she's only working at home and only has one little one to look after, she needs a break from the baby and house and to have some rest and rejuvenation, and her husband thoughtfully says let's get a babysitter and go for a bike ride in nature, and she is grateful, the actual experience isn't healthful for her at all and is only adding to her stress instead of reducing it. She already can't handle what she feels she should be able to and now her her husband is adding more stress by pushing her to continue.

A husband would do better to recognize that if his wife is having a hard time on what seems to him a low level of difficulty, there may be an underlying problem that needs fixing. The husband of my example doesn't realize his wife is on the edge of succumbing to an autoimmune disorder finally brought on by the physical stresses of the next pregnancy, and his new son will develop autism and allergies as soon as the support from her breastfeeding stops. Then he'll really have his hands full. So nip nutritional deficiencies in the bud, and if health, and that includes mental and emotional health starts going downward, you've got to reverse the situation. Let that be in your leadership.

Likewise the kid struggling with schoolwork might need more healthy fats for the brain instead of more tutoring.

I used to have emotional spikes and cod liver oil worked like a miracle in a day. I could feel the emotion trying to take off and it just couldn't do it. The next day the reactionary feeling effect was even smaller. I haven't had that problem for years now. The cod liver oil gave me non-synthetic vitamins I needed. It wasn't a pharmaceutical reducing symptoms without healing the underlying problem.

The cod liver oil I recommend is the Rosita capsules. They don't taste bad at all, and I chew them. Oh, and take it with plenty of butter or cheese in the diet for synergistic vitamin effects.

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[–] kkkrystal 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

sounds like she has some anxiety disorder. its def not normal to be that afraid of cycling. looks like she has you to help her deal with it though. i think the most important question is: how'd it go?

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[–] TheOneTrueGoose [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Overall, the cycling went well. My wife took an hour or two to acquaint herself with the process and to get comfortable. Afterwards, her anxiety dropped some 90 percent and she became able to handle the challenge.

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[–] ketoll ago 

I know this is an old thread, but I just now found this subverse. Great post, and excellent points.

This scene from Wait Until Dark beautifully illustrates and provides and example to the point you're making.

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[–] daskapitalist ago 

Well put. Ladies tend to be stronger in trait neuroticism (i.e. they experience negative emotion more strongly), which is why it's so important for their husband to balance that out.

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[–] Vhaine 2 points 0 points (+2|-2) ago  (edited ago)

Anxiety is almost always a cry for leadership. If required to choose, #3 will serve you best in almost every situation. 1 and 2 can sometimes actually impede her progress. Don't give yourself to much time to sabotage you both with rationalizations and confusing 'in the know' concepts.

Take charge of the situation. Provide clear and concrete direction. Step by step if needed. Verbally demonstrate your mastery of the subject matter briefly and then physically demonstrate. Lead by example.

A wife with anxiety is begging someone to lead her. That needs to be you. Go first. Leave her no option but isolation or acceptance of your leadership. Even timid wives will take a leap of faith to be with you vs being stuck on a ledge isolated and alone. If she just can't do it, circle back and comfort her. Then gently try again when emotionally appropriate. Never leave her on the ledge alone for long. At the very least get her a small victory to boost her self confidence and her confidence in you.

These are almost always trust building exercises. You see her through it safely and with relatively few mishaps and you'll notice the requirements for 1 and 2 start to fade away. Ideally, the end result of every anxiety triggering event should be reassurance in your leadership and understanding.

That being said, you better have understanding of the subject matter if you want her to trust your leadership. So step up your game.

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[–] Hippie_Housewife 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

That's just silly. A cry for leadership...not always. Sometimes people have genuine health problems that influence their moods in this way.

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[–] Vhaine ago  (edited ago)

Right, and during those periods of illness and reduced capacity what you want most is...you husband off with the guys playing xbox? Or maybe there, with you, providing for your care and mental health? Think it through and take your 'illness' crap back tumblr. This is voat. We aren't lying to ourselves here. 99% of the women in the world aren't suffering from chronic self diagnosed debilitating ptsd. Most of them are suffering for chronic lack of self direction. This guy provided direction. His wife succeeded where others may have failed because of it. Recognize the reality of the situation.

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[–] MicroFaggot 2 points 0 points (+2|-2) ago 

anxiety = liberalism?

You're retarded, aren't you?

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