Twas the morning before a giant snowstorm, I received a call from a dear friend who lives a state away. She had just suffered the loss of a family member, and badly needed my support. Knowing that the storm would start soon I decided to try and beat the highway closures. Within 30 minutes I had personal and emergency supplies (a blanket, hot hands, food, emergency medical supplies exc.) packed into my vehicle and I was on the road.
About an hour into my journey the snow began to fall quickly,visibility was a thing of the past. Highways were closing, and 30 mph became a dangerous speed to travel at. I decided to take it slow and easy, high beams on, just do my best to focus on the road and stay alert. 2 hours into my journey I finally see headlights behind me. I was relieved to see someone else out there with me. But the headlights are moving quickly, too quickly,...like normal highway speeds. Even a police officer wouldn't be going that quickly! I recognize the headlights, it's a jeep, before I know it the jeep is riding my bumper, honking and flashing the lights. I figure that they are in need of help, so I begin to pull off the road. The jeep passes me in a fury. Strange, considering that we are the only two vehicles on this stretch of highway.
As the vehicle passes me I can see that it is carrying four enormous ham beasts, crammed inside the jeep like greasy cinnamon rolls in a baking pan. After it swerves around me, I can see the suspension struggling to handle well, and the vehicle almost looses traction (even though it is using the jeep tires with extreme tread). At this point I know that an accident is imminent. As long as they are in front of me, I would have very little ability to see their disabled vehicle and stop in time.
Thankfully It was only about three minutes before I heard an echoing metallic crash somewhere in the distance. I begin to slow my vehicle, knowing that they probably needed help. Finally I can make out their red vehicle. As I pull over and get out I can see that their entire front end has been destroyed by the metal guard rail, coolant leaking everywhere, one hippopotamus male is lumbering around the vehicle surveying the damage. The other three are still in the jeep, it has a canvas roof, none of them appear to have outdoor winter clothing.
"Hi, I'm sometimessage" , The hippo refuses my handshake. "Are you guys alright?" He angrily snaps back at me "We're fine" Now he is avoiding eye contact. I ask if the heat still works, it might take some time for help to arrive. "No", he snaps at me. " I can wait here with you guys, I'm happy to share my emergency supplies and warm car with you." At this point he begins to get even more angry at me. He shifts his enormous weight and , without looking up, yells "I think it would be better if you left now". OOOOK, I think to myself, what the hell?!!!. "allrighty then, I hope someone comes for you soon.Good Luck!. I get back into my vehicle and hit the road.
At the next exit I decide to pull off the road and call the police. Turns out that they haven't called the accident in yet, I warn the officer about their attitudes and lack of storm preparedness. A few hours later the officer calls to check in with me, thanks me for calling it in and warning him, turns out that they were quite a handful.
TL;DR Hambeasts stuff themselves into a jeep, speed dangerously in a snowstorm and crash . Beasts behave threateningly when a stranger exercises rare human compassion via emergency supplies and heat. Hambeasts don't help themselves by calling for emergency help, are stranded for at least an hour. Police officers are forced to risk their lives rescuing hollow headed hams.