[–] gabi-r 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

That has been one tip given to me by RPW that has changed my life and has friends asking how come we never argue. That's not true, we disagree on a lot of things but when I get ticked off, or mad or feel like turning down sex I just think to myself how much I love my BF, that he is the best person I know and that's no way to treat the person you love the most in the world :) I'll take on the examples:

1) If I'm not in the mood: this is the person I love the most, rejecting his advances is no right way to treat him. What I like to do is simply tell him I'm not feeling it right now, but that we can spend some extra time getting me in the mood. Sometimes we'll even talk a little beforehand to decide what would be a good way of making whoever isn't in the mood more relaxed, like a footrub or a relaxing stroll beforehand to make sure there is nothing at the back of our minds to hinder the mood

2) Causing a sceneis never the way to go, this is supposed to be your favorite person in the whole world! I just try to talk and see what did he like that I'm not doing and start doing it, for example a certain style of makeup or dress that caught his eye, I can try that

3) Sometimes when you feel like being alone to think or just need time to cool off it's easier and nicer to explain your SO rather than storm off. There is nothing wrong with saying "I'm really upset, I wanna take a walk/grab a coffee/etc by myself and think about it. Can we talk after that?"

4) I don't think there is anything I can add, your reasoning was flawless. If there is room for improvement it's part of your job as a good girlfriend to encourage him, not shoot him down! I recently had a moment where I failed in this and told my man I felt very rejected because he never invited me to do anything. He felt very hurt because he's doing his best, of course, and he thinks he's not good at planning dates or choosing stuff I will like. We talked and ended up deciding it was best for me to express the things I wanted so he could work on it and ask for my help if needed. He's going to choose a day and place for a nice beach outing now and I'm in charge of bringing and making dirnks and snacks. I learned a lot about expressing my expectations before my feelings or his get hurt