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[–] JunOS 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I got you!

First off, no sweet shit - Im not Italian, but I cook better than most (so they tell me!) I know the mid-westerners have a sweet tooth, but Italians don't. Coffee is strong and tiramisu is not sweett either.

GOOD FOOD TAKES TIME. IT MEANS LOVE. It can also be healthy and easy. Just because the food is cooking, doesn't mean you're tied up in the kitchen all day. Also Italian cooking is simple. seriously. few ingredients that go well together. If you can do that, you can do anything.

Bruschetta:

Long slim french bread, cut in angles (like 30). Pop some butter or evoo, garlic salt, and pepper on em, and toss them in the 350 oven until toasty. Set Aside for later.

Next - get tomatoes. Roma or Vine. Cut so that its just the edges, NO SEEDS/ INTERNALS and chop them into smaller pieces and put in a bowl. Mix with fresh basil, light olive oil, and balsamic vinegar, some salt/pepper to taste.

How about some spaghetti and meatballs? Ever made hamburger patties on the cast iron? Cool, easy like that.

Get ground beef, and some pork sausage. Hot italian preferably out of the casing. Mix well with bread crumbs, yea that progresso shit will work, salt, pepper, egg for binder and carmelized onions (Take a white onion and chop, cook over low heat with a little evoo and salt+ little sugar) then add water when it loses all moisture (and so it doesnt burn, repeat untill carmelized) add that into the meat mixture when cooled.

Roll into even balls and fry on the pan. Even golden coating. Turn on the oven and place the meatballs on the rack for 30 mins or until well cooked.

Before even making the bruschetta, you can make the sauce! This is the money maker... and it can take all day, (occasional stirring on low heat) but totally worth it. If you make this first the garlic will PERMEATE and they will get kicked in the face when they walk in the door. I literally had a friend walk in and say 'I can smell the sauce from outside'. It was a compliment.

For about 5-6 people I use ... 1 bulb of garlic. 1 whole onion (white/yellow) crushed tomatoes. cook onion until golden, add garlic - DONT BURN! Then add the tomato sauce and herbs. 64oz for 5-6 peeps. & fresh basil (save some for garnishing) and oregano, salt, pepper, some crushed red pepper for heat.

Lastly - the Pasta.

Get a pot boil water. ADD SALT - the water should be 'like the sea'. Once it's ready to go add the pasta - DO NOT OVERCOOK. That is SIN for Italians. It should be al dente - or should have a little'bite to it' but not crunchy like its raw! The pasta will cook after you strain it. Strain and run under cold water to stop the cooking. Then add olive oil so it doesn't stick and get all mushy. I do pasta last, right before serving so I normally dont water the noodles.

Plate, the pasta first, then the sauce, then the meatballs. ADD PARMESEAN CHEESE AND BASIL ON TOP: it makes all the difference.

I don't make this all the time, but when I do, I do it right - and that is what I learned from my sicilian ex-girlfriend. Have a glass of wine while cooking, its about the experience with family, not the rush to the end. Its fun to have the sauce going the meatballs slowly giong and then youc an cook the pasta.

I like to get all that shit done ahead of time as well as cleaning. All these items but the apsta you can make ahead of time and relax with the family while occasionally stirring or flipping meatbals from the oven. It looks like you're cooking, but youre enjoying the company, and that's more important.

Cheers!

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[–] Vvswiftvv17 [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I can smell this already....it's making me drool.

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[–] oozeling 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Can you not ask them for help? It seems kinda fucked that they had the entire family to help but expect you to do the same thing to their standards for 30 people without the same resources, and then mock your attempts (and Rachel Ray. Seriously?).

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[–] Vvswiftvv17 [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

They've offered. That's when they made fun of my ideas, when I gave them my mid-west slaw recipes. So now I want to impress them with some authentic ideas.

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[–] watitdew 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

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[–] Mishima 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

For italian-american home cooking see Laura! http://www.laurainthekitchen.com

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[–] Antiseed117 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Maybe try a red and white sauce. It's 50/50 Alfredo sauce and marinara sauce.

Also meatballs slow cooked in grape jelly doesn't suck. Makes for a good app.

And then there's the Stromboli. I take whatever meats I want and wrap them in a pizza crust like a big ass hot pocket. Cut those into 1 inch slices and serve with marinara sauce or even the red/white sauce.

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[–] TheodoreKent 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Ok, so you need something to please a bunch of filthy guidos, but it also has to be a good, portable, park food. You gotta feed those guineas some fucking hoagies. They are great because they are portable, delicious, and don't require any cooking. I can tell you exactly how to do this, but you have to follow my instructions exactly, or else you will fuck it up. Making a good hoagie seems simple, but it is really easy for fuck up.

Bread: You are going to need a bunch of good Italian rolls. This is by far and away, the most important part of the sandwich. You want something with a light, fluffy interior, but a firm crustiness. I highly recommend Amoroso's or Sarcone's. If you really want to impress them, go for one of these two.

Meats: For a truly authentic Italian Hoagie, you're going to need 3 meats. Ham, Capicola, and either Genoa Salami or Sopressata. If you want to get a little fancier, sub proscuitto for the ham.

Cheese: Sharp Provolone.

Veggies: Shredded lettuce, sliced tomatoes, julienned onions, and sliced pepperocini.

Other: Extra virgin olive oil and red wine vinegar.

Construction: Ham goes down first, in a single layer. Then provolone, then genoa salami, and finally, the capicola. Tomatoes, lettuce, onions, and finally, peppers. Drizzle lightly with the oil and vinegar. I know this sounds petty, but do not deviate from this order. It matters.

Give the greasy goombahs their hoagies and everyone will fucking love you.

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[–] Vvswiftvv17 [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I read this in the God Father voice. Thanks, this sounds tasty!

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[–] Lag-wagon 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

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[–] watitdew 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

You can't make that beforehand and then transport it to a park. It will turn to shit.

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[–] Lag-wagon 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

have you tried?

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[–] Bfwilley 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago