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[–] 20884995? 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

You threw yourself selflessly on those straws before they accomplished their mission - next you will find and detain that straw bandit, patriot

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[–] 20898589? 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Just be thankful you weren't caught with those illegal straws in your possession. No judge would have believed you were just cleaning up.