I have suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life, with recurrent suicidal tendencies. 2-3 years ago had some major life stressors, and basically I suffered a major nervous breakdown, which basically destroyed my career.
Have had extreme difficulty finding support from anyone. I am struggling with extreme loneliness, which compounds the whole issue.
Around the same time, I found the Q movement, which gave me something to hold onto.
But, I am burned out, and am having a lot of difficulty from life. My depression and anxiety are continued, with little improvement. I tried SSRIs (last resort), but all it did was lead to increased weight gain, which made me more depressed. I also began drinking heavily, which was the only thing that made me feel good.
I have never really had anyone to talk to about these things. I feel that things are going downhill for me. Time keeps moving on, little is improving, I am getting older, losing my hair, and becoming more and more isolated.
So I am taking a break from all of this. Not sure when I will return. Thanks, please pray for me and wish me luck, I need it a lot
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[–] 20630389? 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I pray for you. I am a survivor of early childhood abuse and spousal abuse. I have tried to kill my self many times but for some reason I still had this tiny bit of hope. I don't know where it comes from after all I've been through. My belief now after seeing reality for what it really is I stopped fighting my belief in God. No I didnt give up! It doesnt matter what religion you are if any at all. God is in your heart. It's faith in anything and everything. NEVER GIVE UP! The moment you make that solid statement to give up that is when you fail and end up broken. I am not a holy roller bible thumper, far from it! I learned by seeing where He had carried me through the hardest parts and when I cursed him for making me go through it I got dropped on my face. But I still kept my faith even though i thought I hated God. Everytime I got dropped I got my courage back because I was stubborn and refused to give up. That's when I realized that I didnt get dropped I got a warning. If you give up yourself you give up on EVERYTHING including God (GOOD). The more we feed the beast our dark emotions the more they get ahead. So I stopped my dark thoughts as much possible and I ask for strength everyday to be able to wake up and carry on. It's a battle everyday because I have agoraphobia and ptsd. But I still hold on to that hope and push through all of the BS and I have made it to 44 yrs old... I should have died at 15. Don't give up please! I mean it! I'm sitting here in a complete wreck of my life trying to survive and I'm begging you to not give up! It does get better and I want you to find your own way to believe in yourself because nothing else matters than believing in yourself. You only get back based on what you put in! If you put all dark emotions and thoughts and cursing well thats what youre going to get back. Stop trashing yourself and find a way to love yourself again. Start with one thing and then build from it. Just please don't quit. The world can't get better if we give up. I pray that God will give you strength to carry on and (keep your eyes open) show you the opportunities in plain sight that the darkness kept hidden from you. Be safe and know many of us here love you especially when you feel unloved.