I used to be a "normal" American guy -- I went to school, I got a good job, I had a house, a car, I used to love "stuff"... and I had everything: the electronic toys, the clothes, the gadgets, and all the accessories. I used to love movies: I had a massive movie collection. I used to love music: I had hundreds of gigs of music. I have a stack of concert ticket stubs and tons of concert t-shirts. My yard and house were very respectable, I spent time and money landscaping. I watched the news. I had debates with co-workers and family members about politics. I even had hobbies: coin collecting, woodworking, mountain biking, and surfing. I used to put on my good suit and go to church on Sunday and talk with all the other people there. I saw my career as a path towards upward mobility. I played politics in the company. I worked over time. I got in good with the boss. I climbed the corporate ladder.
But, then, I started to really get into Conspiracy Theory (back in like 2012 / 2013). I went DEEP down the rabbit hole and came out the other side. I wanted to know EVERYTHING! I did days and weeks of research. I immersed myself into it completely. In 2016 I jumped into Pizzagate research with both feet. I devoured everything there was to know. Then, in 2017, I hopped on the Q Anon bandwagon and went even deeper.
Something changed inside of me. I woke up! I no longer saw the world as I used to. I quit my job. I sold all my stuff. I've downsized my entire life. I've been living off my savings for a few years now. I no longer see a point to participating in the "real" (fake) world. I know that everything that I see is a lie. Everything that I've ever known is a lie. My whole world has been nothing but one giant lie from the start and I can see that clearly now. So, why bother? What is the point of perpetuating the corrupt system by playing along? Why bother pretending that anything matters? I have myself set up in a good situation financially. I spend very little money and I grow a lot of my own food. My expenses are minimal. I may never have to work again. I can just live on the bare minimum and avoid the fake world altogether.
The only people that I actually hang out and talk to are people who know the truth. I can't even interact with people who still believe the fake world is real. I just can't do it. Basically: I can no longer function in the fake real world. It pains me to play along with some stupid game that I know is fake. Now all I do is sit around here (and various other conspiracy forums) and look for news of "The Event". I'm waiting for that one trigger event that will end this whole corrupt system. I keep watching and praying and waiting. Maybe it will be a huge war? Maybe it will be a financial collapse? Maybe it will be some external event (aliens)? Either way, we're on the edge of the cliff and looking down into the abyss. It's only a matter of time before this whole thing blows up and ends.
Until then, I'm just going to be a drop out and mind my own business. I'm going to wait and learn as much as I can. Someday, when it all comes crashing down, a huge weight will be lifted off my shoulders and I will finally get to exist in the REAL world again.
Does anyone else feel this way?