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[–] 14295644? ago  (edited ago)

No I looked normal but it took a few decades for life experience to snap me out of all the programming I went into debt for while in University.

edit: living life was just one big guilt trip (e.g. "Oh shit I'm thirsty and forgot my water bottle. Guess I'll be dehydrated because there's not way I'm buying a plastic water bottle to cover the next 20 hours") — and there's no way I was going on that miserable trip alone.

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[–] 14295740? ago  (edited ago)

Usually it's wanting to have some type of identity, wanting to belong, probably mixed with selfishness and that can really get you into a "don't confuse me with the facts" situation. Denial I guess. I was a mess myself, a guy tho. Probably much worse off than you. Maybe.

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[–] 14297263? ago 

For me it was more a mis-translation of my spirituality. Compassion hijacked with faulty facts and then the tether just derailed from there. I always knew the truth on some level, but it took a long time to override the programming and during that long interim I was a lot of fun, but also a bit of a train wreck for the good men in my life.