I'd like to talk about nigger names for a moment. Without getting too specific, I work on the insurance side of healthcare and deal mostly with medicaid. Multiple times per day I will come across some boon-spawn's name that makes me chortle, some that have me weep for humanity, and some that leave me so dumbfounded that I'm simply numb. Please understand that due to HIPAA laws, and my desire to keep my job, I can not, and will not, post any actual names I've come across. I promise, however, they're as close to reality as possible without breaking the law.
I'd like to start with the apostrophe. Niggers love apostrophes. This often misused punctuation mark is a staple in nigger naming conventions. Often they will take a normal white name, let's use "Stuart" for this example, and pervert it. Stu'art. Unfortunately, I only see these "names" on a computer screen, so I have no idea how they go about pronouncing them, so I don't know if they represent true diacritics meant to stress a particular syllable. I do know, however, that these stray marks wreak havoc on both human and machine interpretation of database entries.
To be fair, white people aren't entirely immune from this. If you need to query a database for Mary-Beth Smith, there are a few ways it could come up: MaryBeth, Mary Beth, or, as listed, Mary-Beth. The problem is the location of the nigger apostrophe is totally random. When Damian Johnson is not found, how were you supposed to know that its name was D'amian, or Dam'ian?
Well, there is at least one way... the nigger apostrophe tends to be the third letter in the name. This is mostly because they start with Da' De' La' Le' Ka' or Ke'. Da'James, Le'James, Ka'James.
Anyway, let's move on to siblings. Boons will always name their kids with at least the first letter shared. Here's Quantavius and his sister Qua'isha and their little brother Qua'Mikie. I believe they do this because each of their kids has a different last name. Here's mom Aisha Brown and her kids Quantavius Johnson, Qua'isha Franklin and Qua'Mikie Smith. In a "family" of three children or more, I don't believe I have ever seen more than two children with the same last name. These databases link immediate family, so if you pull up one child, the computer will show the siblings and parent to allow you to access their records as well. It's funny that there's never a father attached to these records.
Sometimes, when I'm bored at work, I'll query a medicaid database with the search term RandomLastName, J*. J'Aaron, J'Abere J'Acura...
I could go on, but I thought I'd just leave you with the names that prompted me to write this, twin sisters, no less. Again, these are not their real names, but the aliases I've chosen are extremely close. Their names are Melody and Melodee'. Melody I can almost understand, white people give their kids stupid names like this too. Melodee' however... hmm. By itself, it's bad. But twins? It's like naming your kids Frank and Phrank. When you need to call one of them, what in the hell do you do? Do you yell out "Betsy One" and "Betsee two"?
There is one thing about nigger names I'm grateful for, if their names show up on a job application, I know immediately which ones to put in the shredder.
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[–] Hayze5 1 point 7 points 8 points (+8|-1) ago
You aren't exaggerating about the awful names. I met a kid who's first name was B'Rich because his parents wanted him to be rich when he grew up.
[–] StinkyNegro 0 points 12 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago
I present Le'Genius Wisdom Williams.
[–] Splooge 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Holy fuck that is hilarious.
[–] Hayze5 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
His single mother had such high hopes for little Le'Genius!
[–] Bonesaw823 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Oh, it’s such a shame! He had such promise, he was going to be a fucking astrophysicist!
[–] CognitiveDissident5 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I honestly thought you were joking so almost didn't click. Jesus Christ!
[–] Swordfishtrombone ago
He would have been twelve this August.
[–] Hayze5 ago
That's probably true!
[–] Wise2TheLies 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Le'Negro, Da'nigga, examples of what they really are
[–] StinkyNegro 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
A refugee named Ngor enriched Des Moines.
[–] White_Collar_Crimnal 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
"A Des Moines man" BULLSHIT! He's no American. He killed the man so he could have free room for life in the greatest prison system in the world!
[–] CognitiveDissident5 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
And Le 'Blaque
[–] Zulu2Oscar ago
Frenchy nigger?
[–] SchwoogNite96 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Fave nigger name of all time: "Shitavious"
[–] StinkyNegro 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Latrina is another one along that line.
[–] White_Collar_Crimnal 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
You just can't beat the classics!
[–] Bonesaw823 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Shithead pronounced Shith-heed
[–] CRKT_M16Z 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
Two of my favorites: Jizyah Shorts and Peace Esheit
Also, for those of you that watched "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia", there's Sha'Dynasty, which showed up on a neon sign as ShadyNasty.
[–] CognitiveDissident5 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Hahaha!!
[–] White_Collar_Crimnal ago
Weird how that seems to happen so naturally 🤣
[–] SirNiggsalot 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Lar'Dassa has a nice ring to it, so does La'Trina.
[–] Zulu2Oscar 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
La'Felon?
[–] SirNiggsalot 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
D'Inmate.
[–] White_Collar_Crimnal 1 point 1 point 2 points (+2|-1) ago
You know, whenever I see a post by someone I don't recognize, I look at the name and voting habits, like everyone else here. But this post reminded me of someone. And the time this poster has been around is the same as that person. That and the fact that the person who posted this post has almost no voting history and sounds so much like that other person it got me curious. So I used a program I know that compares authorship, writing attributes, punctuation styles and things like that and would you believe that the writing styles were a 94% match? Now that's not conclusive of course and I'm probably wrong so I won't say any names because I'd hate to be a dick like that other person and ruin someone on here cuz their fee fees got butt hurt. So like I said I won't say any names but what I will say is the other person's name DOESN'T start with the letter "D".
[–] SirNiggsalot 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I'm sure your not the only one thinking that.
[–] CognitiveDissident5 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Hmmmm I was wondering too
[–] binrobinro ago
"I look at the name and voting habits, like everyone else here."
I don't care about that. Just about the idea they are posting here and now.
[–] Swordfishtrombone ago
Fe'Lonn or PurrPurr Tre Tohr.
[–] Will0890 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Placentia pronounced ahem::: Pla-cent-tee-ah. Because the nigger heard someone say placenta and thought it was purdy. Though Shitavious takes the cake.
[–] Gail33 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I once met a nigger name Moon'rah ... A hi yella ape who was extraordinarily stupid, even by nigger standards.
[–] White_Collar_Crimnal 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
"extraordinarily stupid, even by nigger standards." Now that's saying something!
[–] Bonesaw823 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Job application? Come on, who are you kidding?!?