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[–] SmokeyMeadow 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

My story begins with me finding true love. She was beautiful, and every bit as racist as me. She was the love of my life, and I wanted desperately for her parents to like me. Part of that included getting a job. Her dad ran a Piggly Wiggly grocery store in a nearby small town, and since he knew the manager of the store in the city, he pulled some strings and got me a job there.

So there I was, freshly employed at what I would come to learn was called the Niggly Wiggly, the all black ghetto grocery that no white people would dare set foot in. I was a cashier, and in my year of working there I learned a few things.

1) Every EBT card in circulation has been damaged to the point of being unable to be swiped. Most are held together loosely by cellophane tape. The unlucky cashier (me) would have to type the number out by hand, making the lines move just that much slower.

2) Niggers prefer soft pack cigarettes for some reason. The extra large 100 style Newports were popular with black women, and were called "cadillacs." Other blacks simply smoked Black and Mild cigarillos.

3) Niggers smell terrible, especially in the rain. The stink like dogs. And their money smells too, I would come home every day with my hands smelling of nigger money. Almost a metallic smell. It was gross.

4) Niggers will steal anything not nailed down. They will take any opportunity to scam the till. One old nigger tried to say I gave him change for a 20 when he gave me a hundred, but it was a lie. There were no hundreds in my till. I told him to fuck off.

5) Niggers hate white people. I gave up trying to count the amount of times people were shitty to me over being white. Let's just say it was a lot, and the feeling is now mutual.

[–] biaxident 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

where i'm from we call Newport cigarettes "Monkey Mints"

[–] SmokeyMeadow 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

We called them "nigger breath mints" in my day.

[–] little_red 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Holy shit. #1 especially. Sometimes they'd be taped AND have a post-it note wrapped around it with the number rewritten. What is it about EBT cards that make them so difficult to keep intact?

Also, when I was in high school, everyone I knew called Newports "Nigports." Lol

[–] SmokeyMeadow 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

For those cards to survive, they would need to be etched in carbide steel. Instead, they're made of flimsy plastic.

[–] ShitArchon 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Niggers prefer soft pack cigarettes for some reason.

That is a mystery. As a cashier in non-ghetto stores, every single customer I rang up wanted the hard packs, specifically because soft packs don't protect cigarettes from getting crushed.

[–] SmokeyMeadow 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

From what I've come to understand, many white people prefer to pack their cigarettes by tapping the top of the box against their hand. This is impossible to do with a soft pack. Blacks apparently don't know about packing, or don't care. They seem to prefer the soft packs because they do in fact contain slightly more tobacco, as they are a fraction of an inch longer compared to hard pack smokes. This dovetails with what I said about the "cadillac" 100s. They do like their long cigarettes. Even if they're mostly crushed and broken by the time they smoke them.