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[–] ILikeReadingComments ago 

Hajji

Week 1 of deployment.

Get a PCR from the base hospital.

"Jesus how the fuck did we miss one!?"

Sweating bullets. Going to blast whichever lance cpl missed it so bad his grand kids will know my voice.

Read PCR.

It's a pregnant female. Pregnant sluts literally rate a casualty report before being sent back stateside.

Tell the doc sitting next to me to check this out.

Laughingbros.png

SWO yells at us to shut the fuck up.

Look on screen at drone feed.

Tracking some hajji carrying a blanket over his arm. Rest of COC is getting ready to rain death on this fucker.

He stops by a donkey.

Throws blanket over the donkeys back.

Steps on wooden box.

You could hear a pin drop in that room. Everyone is watching in disbelief.

He starts fucking it.

Everyone is laughing. "No fucking way"

12 pump chump.

He's winded.

Smacks donkey's ass and heads back the way he came.

First good day that week.

===

It's not so much inbreeding as it is the titanic level of no education. I mean, inbreeding exacerbates it, and these people have no natural ingenuity, but holy fuck are they unbelievably stupid.

Like, we ran into a village that thought we were Russians and had changed our uniforms and stuff. We asked them what year they thought it was. We expected them to say like 1980 something. They said 1450.

There are stories about them just not grasping the concept of plate tectonics, thinking that our body armor is a portable AC unit (I wish. They don't understand the concept of body armor because it's just so hot, the pussies), that our Oakleys are Xray glasses (but we don't use them to look through walls and shit, oh no, we're using them to ogle their women), etc.

One good one is that they don't understand that our laser designators are for a distant aircraft. They think we literally just point at something with them and it magically blows up.

There was also a famous story of this village harboring a VIP and not cooperating with the Marines trying to find him. Some private walks up with a fucking chemlight, breaks it, and tells the elder than he just stole his soul and put it in there. He gave it to the elder, telling him that his soul would slowly return, in exchange for the VIP. It worked.