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[–] neofats 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

Notice how every Obesda anecdote starts out with him shoveling food into his gaping maw?

I parked at this little park called Reverchon Park. I'd eaten there dozens of times before with no issue.

Dozens of times! And that was just his breakfast!

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[–] AmiroxSickMom 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

The real question is there a story where he is never not eating food?

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[–] JohnnyPhatsaqs 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Second breakfast

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[–] Indepentarian 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago  (edited ago)

An Injured Mexican appears!

Obesada activates Window Shield!

Window Shield has no effect!

Obesada activates Napkin Throw!

Injured Mexican is Stunned!

Obesada activates Window Shield!

Obesada Rolls Away!

Obesada lives to eat another buffet.

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[–] Space_Gaffots 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Besada Level Up

-Besada gained 35,000 calories

-Besada's BMI is now 48!

-Hypocrisy increased by 1

-Guts increased by 2

-Oh baby, Lardness increased by 3!

-Besada realized the power of White Male Privilege α

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[–] Gaffots [S] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Why was he scared of this mexican man? Its clear hes a racist and a bigot. He also hates gay people so much that he ran (rode) away as fast as he could.

The real reason he rolled up the window on his specially made rascal, was because he thought someone was going to steal his food.

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[–] Statutory_Ray 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

When he said parked under a tree in the park I thought he was talking about his rascal scooter

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[–] Dillinger48 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

"I like to watch kids in the park while I guzzle on hotdogs. So every place I go to collect welfare, I find a nearby park, take my first lunch of the day which is usually 5 minutes after my 4th brunch, and wobble around in my reinforced little rascal, binoculars up, sucking on dawgs, scoping out kids.

I was collecting another free check for being a fat useless beady eyed cunt when I checked the internet and realized there was a kid's play park nearby. Result!! I quickly crammed a hamburger through my beard hole and revved up the rascal.

I trundled over to the park, grease dripping from my sweaty, unwashed face, hoping that there'd be some hawt ones running around in their shorts. And then he came out of the woods.

He was in his early thirties, and get this - a filthy fucking dago wetback. GAWD, I hate those freeloading spicks. Even though he was too old for me, my eyes immediately went to his crotch. He was wearing tight jeans with the belt undone and he was shirtless. I was breathing hard but still managed to cram a hotdog into my mouth as I watched the little beads of sweat on his abs.

He strolled out of the woods casually drinking a bottle of soda. MMMM COKE. I slobbered as some of it ran down his chin. He sat down on a bench and ran his fingers through a mane of luxuriant black hair then pulled out a subway. That was when I lost all control.

I hit the revs on my rascal and trundled at full speed towards him shouting "SUBWAY..SUBWAY.." in my high pitched retard voice. "NIGGER. GIVE ME SUBWAY.."

He looked up in shock and his eyes widened as he saw me trundling towards him like a fuckin walrus with mange. "PLEASE NIGGER. GIVE ME SUBWAY. I'M BESADA. I'M FROM NEOGAF!!!"

Obviously he had never heard of Neogaf or how important I am because he leapt to his feet and took off across the park shouting for the cops. I sobbed inconsolably as I watched those tight little buns moving out of my reach, knowing I would never feel them against my tits."

Fixed.

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[–] Phat_Michael 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Btw I love the made up stories in that thread. Like thst guy who got "picked up by a hot Asian chick" who "asked to suck his dick" then he "fucked her in the back seat without a franger on"

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[–] UberVileTruth 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

The real takeaway is he's likely crushing for underage kids to diddle in the park.

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[–] cry2kev 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

lmao this guy and his lunch

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[–] UncleDoug 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Obesadass talks about food with reckless abandon.

He staggered out of the woods shouting "suck my diiiick," ~ besada

He would have obliged but he just ate lunch three under a willow tree.

He was looking for a cucumber sandwich, a CUCUMBER sandwich

I found out later, that the woods next to the park were a notorious cruising area for gay guys on the DL. ~ besada

Obesada gayness confirmed.

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