I am a 28 year old female diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder with severe dissociative symptoms. Despite being high-functioning, I have been hospitalized three times in locked psychiatric units. In addition to other applicable diagnoses, I have been misdiagnosed with Schizophrenia and subsequently spent months as a living zombie due to incorrect medication.
I wanted to do this AMA in hopes that I can shed a little bit of light on the stigma associated with Borderline and how real life with the disorder differs from the sensationalized depictions described online or in media. It is so upsetting to see that online advice for someone concerned about dating someone with Borderline is simply: RUN. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN. Society's caricature of the disorder make it easy to feel ashamed and isolate yourself.
I'm happy to answer any question at all. Thanks!
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[–] butyeah 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
How did the doctors finally figure out that the medication they were giving you was wrong?
Also, how would you describe your condition in your own words?
[–] foxyface [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
The doctor that prescribed me with the medication, Risperidone/Risperdal, that turned me into a zombie refused to listen to my objections. Looking back, I think she may have been in over her head and gave me something that was far too strong in my case. I was on other meds at the time, including another antipsychotic, and decided to started tapering myself off of the risperdal. I have learned the hard way, multiple times, that you should NEVER stop taking your meds without guidance from your doctor, but it was my [potentially dangerous] way of getting her attention. She finally started to work with me to find another combo of meds that didn't include the risperdal. I stopped seeing her shortly after that... she wasn't the best doctor. I think that I am finally on the right combo of meds and its been almost 10 years since I started seeking professional help.
I think people with Borderline experience themselves differently, but for me the dissociative aspect is what can be most disturbing at times. I feel like I am on another plane of reality that is almost, but not quite, in line with everyone else. It's just slightly askew. I don't feel tethered to myself as a whole, to others, or even experiences or memories. Due to parts of my childhood, I have difficulty forming and maintaining real, substantial friendships which leaves me feeling very lonely. My biggest fear is being alone, but yet I have such difficulty with forming any deep connections. I do have an amazing boyfriend, to whom I am fiercely loyal and very much in love with.