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[–] 7837159? 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

In the last 10 years, what has made you feel the least lonely? Said differently when did you feel the best, and what were some of the contributing factors toward this feeling?

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[–] FriendlyHumanBeing [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I'll answer this as "when was the most serene and stable you've felt?" I do this because my emotional highs always ended poorly and I do not look back at them as positive experiences.

I've been speaking to this woman over the internet recently and she's just a very kind, genuine and affectionate woman. She is not my lover or internet girlfriend by any means. I do not want romance and neither does she, but she's a true friend. We talk about things and in particular sex and gender stuff. I've always felt ugly and insecure about my looks because I fell for the Tinder and Online Dating meme, which killed my self-esteem. I've sent her a photo and she basically said "You're not ugly, you have distinct features but not ugly." This wasn't the first time I was told this, but for some reason it made things click.

The fact that I realized my looks do not make or break me is when I started to feel calmer. I didn't get a surge of energy to do things and then happily ever after, I just started to feel less bad. All I really need is to feel less bad.

It also makes me feel like the things I do are not innately disgusting or unwanted. At least me, it is utterly meritocratic and that is a liberating feeling. I can stop obsessing about the beauty Caste System and labeling myself a low-caste subhuman.

Anything that calms me down and neutralizes a source of negative emotions is always a major victory. This was one of many. I anticipate reaching my strength and fitness goals to be the most potent nullifer of negative feelings.

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[–] 7837693? 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Thanks for the heartfelt reply. Do you feel like insecurities (in the your response regarding looks) is a major contributing factor in yours/other peoples depression?