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[–] daquanikus 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Do you ever feel like you have a purpose that is greater than bending over to the mediocrity of the world? I ask because I often find myself in depressed states, or get stuck in a cycle of only looking at the short term, and feeling dismay, but know that I have a purpose to change something in the world, but just haven't found it yet.

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[–] FriendlyHumanBeing [S] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago  (edited ago)

As reductionist as it sounds, I ultimately see myself as a biological machine. When I feel good, it's because of neurochemistry and whatever other crap I don't feel like making up; you know what I mean. So, I think about what sort of input does my brain need to make me feel good and happy? It sounds autistic, but I've lost the ability to anthropomorphize years ago.

You say that you require a "purpose". I don't think there is an innate purpose to human existence (at least what fictional stories sell us), so the statement is at best half-true. You want to strive past the mediocrity of the world. I think all of this has a common theme. Think back in the hunter-gatherer days. These sort of first-world problems are not really all there in simple days. We were pretty happy back then because we don't actually need a lot to be happy.

I think you need a tribe of sorts. People and a community that you feel good contributing and accomplishing tasks together. I don't see how some San Fransisco boy wanting to do some gay activist shit can be more fulfilled than a caveman bringing back the meat for his woman and kids.

Sometimes you have to be more reductionist, think about what fundamentally drives people to do things. Your sense of purpose can be derived from basic human needs.

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[–] daquanikus 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

If we are going into the metaphysical, I stand to be more fatalist. I think that we might have a set of choices, but it's up to us to decide the outcome of them. I think we can also reward our ego by doing what pleases us. I have the choice to study for an exam, and do well on it, or I can blow it off, and face the consequences. Studying is going to suck, but in the end, through the tough shit, I'll be happy.

It's interesting that you bring up the tribe concept. I hate everyone, and love being alone for long periods of time. But contradictory to that, I work very well in groups, and get a lot out of groups and bringing ideas to the table to think of something even greater. Whether it be my audaciousness or whatever else, I think there needs to be a good balance.

At any rate, I wish you luck with your endeavors, and hope that you can find a path through life that suits you. Maybe you should take some time to write out some goals. Not nessisarily a "purpose", but it's something to work towards. Reward yourself when you're there.

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[–] ashekchum 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Ohh you should read The Red Queen Matt Ridley, it talks about the biomachine aspect and how really the ultimate goal is procreation and how that drives behavior. It's a good read regardless. Its fairly well know so you should be able to get a copy legitimate or illegitimate easily.

I do agree with your viewpoint on the world, and I know I'm not one of the most "happy" people myself.

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[–] gummyboar 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

have you ever tried no fap?

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[–] FriendlyHumanBeing [S] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Yes and it's retarded.

Perhaps I can see the value in not using porn as a masturbation aid, but abstaining from jerking off as a whole is just stupid.

It's yet another red herring for young depressed males that lack self-awareness and perspective as to why they are actually miserable. Too bad people profit from this demographic. You'd think people would be more critical of these things after the collective realization of how faggy "Pickup Artists" are.

No one seems to care about depressed and vulnerable males. In fact, I think many hold contempt for them.

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[–] gummyboar 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Well I don't think it is retarded. The idea is that your testosterone rises giving you more energy and drive to do something with your life. I btw have not fully abstained from jerking off, I go as long as I can go. Its harder then you would think (no pun intended). I now have held my part time job for longer then i have ever held a job before in my life. I work out multiple times a week and I have lost 15 pounds doing so. I actually want to see my friends and family.

I see it as it works for some people. If you don't have a testosterone and jerking off multiple times a day issue it most likely wont make a difference. I was open minded about it and hey it has helped.

I have been in the same boat as you with the anti depressants and the counseling. Both were a waste of time for me and I think most people who are truly depressed have that experience.

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[–] ExpertShitposter 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Expert here.

You're not suppose to do nofap forever. People just become radical about it. The nofap is suppose to last 3months or more, and only the noporn is forever.

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[–] zo34 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

In fact, I think many hold contempt for them.

I think this is because, under the veil of the not-manly-man, the "dumb dad" stereotype, and all the other garbage being spread about what a man is supposed to be, people still expect us to be strong, mature, have our shit together, and generally be the classical manly-man (a la Teddy Roosevelt).

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[–] Hova 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

For OP and any other depressed goats lurking this thread. Go lift, 5x5 strong lifts is a good beginner program, but whatever works for you. If you have enough money for a powercage and weights, buy it. If not, get a cheap gym subscription, and head straight to the squat rack. You're gonna be weak because your depression has made you into a weak beta fucking male but that's OK. Stick with it and in 3-6 months you'll have more strength than you could imagine right now.

When you realize how strong you are your confidence will increase regardless of muscle size or definition. That confidence is a fucking aphrodisiac to women. It's hard to be depressed when most of the girls you interact with want to fuck you.

Diet is important but it's a x100 more important that you just fucking continuously lift. Also take 5 g's of creatine everyday (drink a shit load of water with this).

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[–] FriendlyHumanBeing [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

If you are deep in depression, you'll never make gains. You literally do not have the energy to lift as much as you need to build muscle, let alone the motivation to maintain this long-term. Also factoring out how shit your appetite is and how much food you need to eat to gain.

You're putting the cart before the horse. Besides, there are buff dudes out there who are depressed. It's not a magical cure.

The best thing for a depressed person is affection and a sense of belonging. It may not make all their problems disappear, but they will be functional enough to better themselves. It's no wonder why cults can be so successful.

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[–] Hova 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

The best thing for depression is lifting weights and smashing pussy. We're not gonna agree here OP, you go find comfort in your affection and sense of belonging. Just don't spread that weak ass defeatist attitude to the goats who actually want to better themselves. You gave up before you even tried and then made excuses to comfort yourself. Part of depression is that you constantly lie to yourself, but by all means OP, you've obviously got it all figured out.

Edit: I see in another post that you started lifting (recently?) so good on you man. My response still stands to anyone that believes they're to depressed to work out. Depression is a lethargic and depressing loop, but just forcing yourself to lift weights (even terrible form, terrible diet, wearing flip flops) three times a weak can be the consistency to break you out of that loop. The testosterone and natural dopamine from exercise play a big part in this too.

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[–] BlueBloodNate 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

What is your blood type?

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[–] FriendlyHumanBeing [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

O+

I had to call my mom to confirm that.

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[–] BlueBloodNate 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Thanks for doing that!

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[–] 7837159 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

In the last 10 years, what has made you feel the least lonely? Said differently when did you feel the best, and what were some of the contributing factors toward this feeling?

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[–] FriendlyHumanBeing [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I'll answer this as "when was the most serene and stable you've felt?" I do this because my emotional highs always ended poorly and I do not look back at them as positive experiences.

I've been speaking to this woman over the internet recently and she's just a very kind, genuine and affectionate woman. She is not my lover or internet girlfriend by any means. I do not want romance and neither does she, but she's a true friend. We talk about things and in particular sex and gender stuff. I've always felt ugly and insecure about my looks because I fell for the Tinder and Online Dating meme, which killed my self-esteem. I've sent her a photo and she basically said "You're not ugly, you have distinct features but not ugly." This wasn't the first time I was told this, but for some reason it made things click.

The fact that I realized my looks do not make or break me is when I started to feel calmer. I didn't get a surge of energy to do things and then happily ever after, I just started to feel less bad. All I really need is to feel less bad.

It also makes me feel like the things I do are not innately disgusting or unwanted. At least me, it is utterly meritocratic and that is a liberating feeling. I can stop obsessing about the beauty Caste System and labeling myself a low-caste subhuman.

Anything that calms me down and neutralizes a source of negative emotions is always a major victory. This was one of many. I anticipate reaching my strength and fitness goals to be the most potent nullifer of negative feelings.

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[–] 7837693 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Thanks for the heartfelt reply. Do you feel like insecurities (in the your response regarding looks) is a major contributing factor in yours/other peoples depression?

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[–] 7836913 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

What's your favorite curse word? Do you make yourself laugh?

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[–] FriendlyHumanBeing [S] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Degenerate or Subhuman. If I had to pick a conventional one, it'd be "retard".

I make myself laugh all the fucking time. I giggle to myself in public and I get into these long-winded arguments or fictional reenactments while I'm driving. Sometimes I cannot tell a joke because I just make myself laugh. I think I'm the funniest guy ever.

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[–] 7837176 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Haha me too! I've always wondered if anyone else did that. It feels good to crack yourself up. I like those insults as well. My go to is mouth breather because you know exactly what's being described. Cool beans good luck in school!

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[–] Cum_control 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Seriously? Those are not fucking curse words you dipshit. Do you fucking need help understanding shit like a god damn curse word?

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[–] Premeditated123 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Do you suffer from an anxiety disorder?

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[–] FriendlyHumanBeing [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I haven't been diagnosed, but I have experienced anxiety attacks that has just made me want to shoot up some heroin and not exist for a bit. (I don't do drugs)

It typically happens when I am in a scenario where I cannot fulfill basic "male" tasks. Like lifting something heavy, failing to open a jar and being in or witnessing situations where sexual selection is taking place (like when a woman shows obvious signs of attraction to other men).

It's the main reason why I can't hold a job. For whatever problem I have with the job, it's the fact that I am a man and I can't even get through the days without crying somewhere private.

For some reason, I feel comfortable in the gym.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Premeditated123 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I'm sorry to hear that, man. Anxiety can be really rough. You mentioned that you get anxious when females show interest in other males. Is that accompanied by depression?

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[–] Runaway-White-Slave 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

The next time you can't open a jar, turn it upside down and smack the bottom a few times firmly....

And get more exercise, what's the point in going to the gym and not having some size and strength?

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[–] Kwijibo 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

What, if any, meds have you tried? I was depressed about 15 years ago. Getting a better job and moving to a new area helped me reinvent myself.

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[–] FriendlyHumanBeing [S] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I had quite a bad time with meds.

I took Citalopram when I was 19 for 6 months. During that time, I started crossdressing and taking pictures of myself and showing them to my family and friends. Made a huge ass out of myself. I know why this happened and I could go into detail if anyone cares enough.

The meds ultimately made me uninhibited and made me act out in ways that were previously suppressed. Now, I'm not saying you're going to act like a faggot if you take Citalopram, but I am answering the question of what meds I've tried.

No, I am not transgendered or homosexual.

I hope university will be the catalyst for getting my life in order. I've put a lot of issues at rest and I am no longer a full-fledged manchild. Although, some can argue that I still retain some manchild-like traits.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] BlueBloodNate 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Are you crazy? Why would you take Citalopram when you have R- blood?

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[–] Kwijibo 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Good luck.

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