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[–] OP_is_lying 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I really think my clients' fetishism was a kind of symptom of a lifetime of bottled-up feelings, experiences, desires.

Some people believe certain fetishes are symptoms of mental issues. Can you elaborate on that? Each case is different of course but did you have certain clients that were a bit of a mess in that department?

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[–] Tambourine [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I'm not sure I can isolate any one fetish as indictive of a given pathology, but I think that fetishism itself - for many, this means an inability to feel sexually satisfied without some kind of typically nonsexual stimulus - is like a pressure valve. If you didn't have a whole mess of unstable gas molecules bouncing around, you wouldn't need it. Obviously, people have feelings and they don't always come out in an orderly way, but persistent pursuit of getting a kinky "button" pushed is not, in my experience, a positive thing.

Example: Mason Masochist "needs" to be hurt. Maybe it's because he wants to express his ability to suffer for a woman's pleasure (this is common and is a whole can of worms). Maybe it's because he "needs to cry" - also common, desire for a stimulus to "let it out." But "letting it out" through a beating simply doesn't solve the problem. It is an escape, a coping mechanism rather than a confrontation of the problem. The healing this can catalyze is limited at best; at worst it perpetuates a cycle of denial and therefore worsening of the actual problem. Mason is not growing from his experience of pain; he's getting temporary catharsis that needs to become steadily more intense for him to feel good. This is the pattern of most of the masochists I met; no one starts out wanting to have needles put in his cock. He turns to that after light spanking doesn't quite do it anymore.

Even worse is degradation. I rarely went far with this for precisely this reason: when someone is dealing with insecurity by intentionally getting insulted for his small penis, his weight, etc., he's only deepening and affirming damaging mental habits.

Again, I'm not a therapist but it was clear to me that these individuals were channeling emotions they couldn't express through my activities with them, and importantly, I was not bringing them to a better understanding of their feelings. I was not helping anyone make peace with anything - only helping distract from the problem and push it further away.

does this make sense?

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[–] OP_is_lying 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

It does, thanks for the reply.