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[–] xbryn 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Have you ever guarded someones life from something other than drowning?

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[–] PIcasso54 [S] 1 points 2 points (+3|-1) ago 

One time when I was nine I stopped my brother and cousin from walking right into a rattle snake. It was literally the most camoflaged snake any of them had ever seen. They didn't believe me until they saw the ground moving.

In a more serious manner, two thirds of our job is prevention and the last third is action. Needless to say, there isn't much action to be gotten at the pool other than drowning kids. A few of my co-workers have had to call police on drunk people before. One time three construction workers followed a girl who worked here through two different parking lots into our facility. When the front desk wouldn't let them into the pool area, they started asking her name and we eventually called the police. The girl was mortified.

I save kids from themselves. Those crazy bastards don't know that I'd rather see them mad at me for telling them to stop running, then seeing them head cracked open on the pool deck screaming bloody murder.

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[–] Zebezian 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

What do you think the general population should know about lifeguarding? Any misconceptions? Cool facts?

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[–] PIcasso54 [S] 1 points 2 points (+3|-1) ago 

The main issue I have is people don't understand that WE DON'T MAKE THE RULES. I get yelled at by my lead guards, my lead guards get yelled at by their supervisors, and the supervisors get their asses chewed out by their boss. The chain of command leaves little room for negotiating whether I can let you and your 4 month old baby go down the fucking water slide. Too much margin for errors, and errors mean lawsuits. Lawsuits mean I lose either my bonus, my job, or both.

Cool facts?

  1. It is a requirement of Red Cross lifeguards to always have their hip sack on them, containing a pair of gloves, resuscitation mask, and first aid equipment.

  2. When giving CPR on an adult/teenagers, it's 2 breaths to 30 chest pumps. Pump the chest to the rhythm of "Another one bites the dust" by queen or "Stayin alive" by beezgeeze or whatever the hell their name is.

  3. A misconception many people have, that actually helps us, is that they believe we are trained professionals. Most of us went through three days of training and were asked "when is the soonest you can start?". That's not to say most lifeguards don't know basic lifeguarding skills. Most of them do, if they're smarter than a rock. If you ever want a decent low-skill job, lifeguarding is a great way to get put into a skilled worker category.

  4. If you're nice to us, we will kindly cut you some slack. Suddenly the polite kid who said "yes sir" and "thank you" isn't an inch too short to go down the water slide. I've even complimented a few parents on their kids behavior. Always puts them in a brighter mood.

  5. Lightning is God's greatest gift.

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[–] Zebezian 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Thank you. This is an awesome reply!

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[–] Turnip_Time 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Pump the chest to the rhythm of "Another one bites the dust" by queen or "Stayin alive" by beezgeeze or whatever the hell their name is.

But what if I'm in the mood for speed metal?

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[–] DietCokehead1 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

How often does somebody poop in the pool?

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[–] plankO 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

what's the actual boner rule? can I let my flag fly?

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[–] PIcasso54 [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Only if you say your Australian and "This is how we do it out back..." I'd be too funny to not let it fly until a lead guard came out.

We had some Australian chicks come in one time and take off their bras in front of a guard. Highlight of the year of you ask me!

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[–] GabeVitoro 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I have an honest question. Do you feel that sexy buff men or sexy chesty women are good for lifeguards? I had a chat with a friend and I told him that I liked looking at the men and he accused me of not taking them seriously. I told him I was there to enjoy myself and didn't need to take anyone seriously. I did point out that I was more aware of where the lifeguard was and stayed closer to him because of that. What do you think? Benefit or distraction?

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[–] PIcasso54 [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Benefit. One of the greatest perks of lifeguarding is that the majority of the women I work with are super hot. I've hooked up with three of them already, but I digress it really does help with our team strength. It isn't uncommon for me to have to go sit next to one of my co-workers when a group of teenagers won't stop hitting on her, which is all fine and stuff anyways.

Many of us male lifegurads are in great shape also-- we have to be. I try and motivate everyone to stay active, and even peer-pressure the younger guards to do push-ups with me on my break. Attractive lifeguards are usually the most disciplined and self-taught. The lazy fat asses or skinny ones who don't lift usually have a slower reaction time and lower adrenaline boost when they need it the most.

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[–] GabeVitoro 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Thanks for the answer. I'll try not to stare so hard in the future. :-P

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[–] ShineShooter 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Why the hell are guards falling out of their stands, and how much does the chlorine wreck your lungs?

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[–] PIcasso54 [S] 1 points 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

We has a guard last year pass out on the stand after drinking two bottles of night quill and a few monster energy drinks in 105 degree weather. The guard that passed out yesterday is very responcible and she just said she stood up really quick, got extremely dizzy, and hit her head on the stand. She was sent to ER Clinic yesterday and should be fine to work I hear. Still not sure what exactly it was...

The Chlorine in our pool is perfect in the sense it doesn't hurt you. Don't know how it is in other establishments, but we don't submerse the pool in a chemical that is already an irritant. I have actually only ever heard one person complain about our Chlorine peeling someone's skin-- but that also happened to me when it reacted terribly with my acne medication. My lungs feel great!

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[–] ShineShooter 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

First guard is an idiot, but i can sympathize with the other. I thought the pool was indoor at first, chlorine isn't a problem at all while outside. Guards on the coast make a good wage too, it comes with the extra fitness requirements. How many saves per week do y'all average?

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] PIcasso54 [S] 1 points 2 points (+3|-1) ago 

The money is too good to kill myself. I started work at 5:00 A.M. this morning and they paid me $50 to watch the sunrise, shirtless, while drinking a cup of coffee. Nobody comes to morning lap swims.

Boerdom is a huge problem for some of us. People fall asleep on stand sometimes, people talk and sing to themselves, some guards do nothing but eat on their breaks then wonder why they fall asleep after no activity for 6 hours strait. Personally, it has never been a problem. I work for 45 minutes guarding, then take a 15 break where I get to eat something, use the restroom, do pushups, or just chat with friends. I'd rather be paid to be boerd than to be boerd at my house paying xbox, and not getting paid. You catch my drift?

The only time my job seriously, seriously sucks is when it's 114 degrees outside and the pool is packed. I get sun burnt, head aches, and just worn out. Even under an umbrella with an endless supply of ice, water, and sunscreen-- the sun will fucking find you.

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[–] sonic_sabbath 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

How often have you seen fat people excremate in the pool?

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[–] PIcasso54 [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Although there are more than a few obese people that come to our recreation center, the majority of AFRs are the result of little kids who decide to make our lives easier and shit in the pool. When this happens, we close the pool for an upward of two hours depending on how long it takes a specialist to clean it out. We used to be able to clean it ourselves and reopen in 45 minutes, but shit hit the fan when we went through a management shit. Now we can't even own Windex, dawn's dish soap, or bleach...

As far as fat people problems go, I think the only real issue is now some of our metal benches have huge bends in them. They usually keep to themselves in my experiences.

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