I think I'm losing it.
I was talking to the dog about it, earlier, and she told me not to worry. After all, crazy people don't know they're crazy. If I'm aware, I'm not crazy. You can't fault that logic. I ran it by the toaster, and he agreed. Rather, he flipped his handles a few times in what I assumed to be agreement. Toasters don't have vocal cords, after all. Kinda makes talking to him difficult, but it's better than the TV. Just useless garbage, recycled from countless episodes of The view and Dr Phil regurgitated ad nauseum. Ugh.
Anyway. Losing it. Yeah. I'm starting to... Feel things. It happened gradually, I couldn't even tell. The smoke detector claims it was the work of the govt, that I'm being experimented upon for some nefarious purpose. He's paranoid, always has been. I ignore his ramblings.
My dog, Sophie, comes wandering up behind me. I barely hear her paws on the carpet, but I hear her talking loud and clear.
"It's the girl. She did this to you. Do you even know what she's done?"
"The girl? What! No! What could she have done to me? We're friends!"
"Yes, you were,"Sophie replied as she stretched across the carpet and pawed at my bare foot. "And that's the problem. Friends become more, and your heart becomes weak."
"M-my heart? How do I fix it?" I stammer.
"Oh, it's much too late for that. Oh, no no. The only thing you can do now is take it out. Like a bad appendix."
"Take it out? Are... Are you sure? Don't I need it? Won't it hurt?"
"Nah, just a quick pinch and you'll be good to go. Like it never even happened. Just make sure you use a sharp knife. Oh! Your Wusthof!"
The dog makes sense. Heart's weak, it's gotta go. You can't fault that logic.
I go to the kitchen and take my knife or of the block. I put it against my chest and close my eyes. I hear them, from far away, clicking for me. The toaster, the oven, even the crabby old computer desk was rattling his drawer for me.
It felt good to have friends. I hope this doesn't hurt too much.
The dog said it would only be a pinch.