[–] TheBuddha 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

You sure they aren't doing opiates?

[–] midnightblue1335 [S] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I'm almost 100% sure he does not use any kind of drugs outside of booze. Obviously I can't be totally sure since I don't spend very much time with him.

This was a thought that popped into my head when I heard of all this, as well. I wondered if he started taking oxycodone or heroin, but when I brought that up to his brother, he dismissed it pretty quickly. They had a cousin who used methamphetamine, and she was promptly disowned- given their family has experience with someone using drugs, I'd imagine his brother (who lives with him) would've noticed the changes in behavior/lifestyle that come along with an opiate habit.

The first time I've ever heard of a condition like this was many years ago, I believe it was on the news: a heroin addict had a grapefruit-sized impacted mass of shit in his bowels and they had to slice him open to remove it. But I've also heard that the "less resourceful" junkies who frequently go through withdrawals might not encounter this issue, because during withdrawals their bowels loosen and they practically shit liquid. I don't know if that would completely clear any blockages, especially when considering that addicts typically don't keep up with healthy lifestyle choices like drinking enough water or eating well.

[–] TheBuddha 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

It's pretty easy to hide opiate use, so long as you have money.

And, withdrawals will evacuate your system pretty completely, in my own experience.

I was a functional addict - for many, many years. I've actually done very well for myself - and have done so while being pretty wasted. Chances are, my work has impacted your life - I've possibly modeled your traffic and worked with traffic engineers who have worked on your infrastructure.

And, I was a junkie...

The difference was that I didn't have to beg, borrow, or steal to get my fix. I functioned just like most other professional adults. In fact, I functioned better - 'cause I'd sometimes stay awake and snort mounds of cocaine while working long hours. I could also control myself, so that I didn't get sloppy wasted and was able to maintain well enough to do my job.

So, I know it's possible.

[–] Landrictree 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

One hell of a fucking chinga baby after 40 days.

[–] Artofchoke 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Was my first thought. :/

[–] TheBuddha 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Right? That's my first guess. I know these things.

[–] Hydrocephalus 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I am in my fourth year of med school and I can attest to the fact that a large percent of medical problems are constipation related. Shit gets impacted then it causes pain, etc... A rupture is pretty bad, they probably had to take a good sized chunk of bowel out with it, he'll likely be shitting from a hole in his stomach for some time. And I agree, the best way to make sure you're shitting regularly is to drink enough water. Enoguh that you pee is clear pr close to it. The thing is, when you run low on water your body fonds ways to hold onto it. Two ways it does that are by concentrating your piss, and pulling water out of your shit. This means you have dry shit sticking to the insides of your colon, slowing everything down. The other thing is eat a lot of fiber. Doesn't have to be gross stuff, say like a bowl of oatmeal in the morning, or make pancakes with whole wheat flower, real whole wheat with the bran in it, not bullshit whole wheat that just has food coloring or whatever it is they use. Anyway, shitting is important.

[–] midnightblue1335 [S] 1 points 7 points (+8|-1) ago 

Great info in that post.

Oatmeal every morning for myself- it doesn't even have to be bland, flavorless oats. Throw some blueberries or sliced apples in there, and boom- you've got a tasty breakfast that will help ensure your intestines never pop from being filled with shit.

I'd imagine just about 100% of mankind has been constipated at some time or another in their life; most of those people probably didn't realize why they felt so lousy for that week, and then suddenly they felt great after they got over whatever factors was causing the back-up.

I wish they'd taught this kind of stuff in school. I know it'd be difficult to get through a lesson about poopy with a classroom of immature kids, but they could make it fun and funny, and those kinds of lessons will stick with a person for their entire life. Even tossing in a few horror stories, like the one I posted, could really help people think about this kind of thing.

[–] Native 2 points 3 points (+5|-2) ago 

Not to be contrarian, oatmeal isn't good for you.

Stick with bacon and eggs and stay away from oatmeal and bananas

[–] Hydrocephalus 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

"Helps insure your intestines never pop from being filled with shit!" I think you just created the new ad campaign for quaker oats!

[–] Dougal_McHaggis 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Gut bacteria has a bunch to do with it too. Drink some high grade kefir every day, will make you shit like a champ.

[–] slwsnowman40 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Popcorn, and watermelon work well too.

A box of Raisin Bran will also work, but I recommend only doing that if you are close to the toilet.

[–] Nadeshda 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

What a crappy story... pardon the pun but ewe and nasty all the same. I just don’t understand how there are people out there that don’t know this crap about the importance of being regular.

[–] midnightblue1335 [S] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I was resisting the urge to make shit-puns the entire time I was typing that up, it's only natural. :)

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

[–] Mylon 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Some people aren't blessed with active bowels and this shit can happen too easily.

[–] fhaqyu 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

40 days of not shitting? wow

[–] midnightblue1335 [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Can you imagine how that feels, physically? I know I stress the hell out when I missed a few days in a row a while back, and you feel shitty (lol) in general.

But 40 days? How sluggish and bloated would you be? You're lugging around a few pounds of useless weight, your body is putting extra energy and effort into trying to process it- I'll bet you feel weak and slow and stupid in a state like that.

[–] fhaqyu 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

God no, the longest I can remember not taking a deuce is 5 days and that was painful

[–] Battlefat 1 points 4 points (+5|-1) ago 

Your buddy’s new nickname should be something along the lines of “shitbelly” or “Turds Lebowski” Let me know if you think of anything better. Also hope your friend doesn’t die of sepsis

[–] midnightblue1335 [S] 1 points 5 points (+6|-1) ago 

Oh, don't worry- we're working on new nicknames already. Gonna try and hold off on making too much fun of him until after he goes through the surgery this week.

Fortunately, the doctor said that since he was immediately rushed to the hospital after the rupture, he will most likely survive. I believe his brother said that they have him on IV antibiotics and they're going to cut him open on Monday morning and remove the offending shitball.

Hm... "Offending Shitball" might be a good name for him.

[–] RevDrStrangelove 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

There have been times when a combination of limited calories and high physical exertion have reduced my bowel movements but I've never gone more than a couple of days at a time without shitting. I've always had a stupid high metabolism and that's worked against me at times.

[–] NeoGoat 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I recently went 4 when I was bedridden. I'd been still enough and eating so little that I did not get the urge to poop. Not fun the first time back, but I was glad I'd not pooped my bed which was the only place I could've pooped the first 2 days.

I read 3 a day to once every 3 days is considered normal.

[–] the_sharpest_knife 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

He's lucky it wasn't ass cancer. Same symptom.

[–] Ina_Pickle 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Dude. I think your buddy is my husband's coworker. He was just hospitalized for the same thing. Went septic.

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