Schiff was ready to go to sleep when he heard noises at the window. He looked and saw a bat trying to get in.
"Master! Master! You have come!" shouts Schiff. He looks ecstatic and his eyes bug even more than usual, if you can imagine that. He opens the window. The bat flies in and transforms into...George Soros.
"Master! I have done everything you told me to do!"
"Yes you have," says Soros. "Now sit. Now beg. Here's your treat." Schiff pants with his tongue out.
"Master, what do I do next?" asks Schiff.
"Just follow the script I give you every day," says Soros. "You are doing much better than many of my other servants, who are starting to lose it. I am very proud of you. Joe Biden, for instance, has definitely lost it."
"But I thought Joe was faking the dementia so he can plead insanity when he's arrested?"
"No," says Soros. "His brain has truly turned into tofu. Otherwise he wouldn't have pedo flashbacks on camera. Too many diseases catching up with him. I keep Bill Clinton out of the spotlight for the same reason. That man has more venereal diseases than anyone else on the planet. But fortunately I have loyal servants like you."
Schiff sees a fly, grabs it, and eats it.
"Did you like the taste of the blood in that fly?" asks Soros.
"To tell the truth," says Schiff, "I prefer larger things that I can inject with meth and rape to death."
"You can't always get what you want. But you get what you need," says Soros.
"What? Have you been watching Trump rallies?"
"I don't know what came over me," Soros says to himself.
"I don't think the impeachment is going over well," says Schiff, "but I'm sure you have a Plan B."
"Actually," says Soros to himself, "I am up to Plan N and running out of plans." "Remember," he says to Schiff, "the idea is not actually taking Trump out of office. We probably can't do that. We want to create an atmosphere of chaos so no one knows what is going on, and keep people like you from getting arrested."
"Oh yes, Master, yes yes. I don't want to be arrested. I will do anything you say."
"Keep up with what you're doing. My killer germ False Flag in China might not work, even though I utilized many of my bat relatives to carry it out. I now have to go visit another of my loyal servants, one of my brides, Nancy Pelosi, heaven help me. However, I guess I am not such a great catch myself. This eternal life thing is not all it's cracked up to be. But, you know, no refunds, no returns."
"But," says Soros, "I have to find Pelosi when she isn't soused."
"When would that be?" says Schiff.
"There is sometimes a five-minute window in the morning," says Soros. "Fare thee well." And Soros turns back into a bat and flies away.
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[–] Cheetah1964 [S] ago
I'll get thinking on that one.