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[–] fringe--dweller [S] ago 

thinking about it, this is the real one in the link above.

she is wearing tents because she has a gov. issued explosive vest fitted, with a special wooden stake positioned where the heart should be, 2 layers of kevlar bulletproof protection, remote detonator linked to her tracking device, a load of different antennas beaming back to QHQ her every breath and cuss and as a result, triple absorbency senior diapers.

If she as much as farts without written permission she is toasted and staked in a jiffy.

typing that made me feel a little better, on a personal level.