the party chooses to be evil
player 1, a short, stumpy, horny, ugly troll with a machete. player 2, a runemage with a magitek rifle and a runebag. NPC party member, a smoking hot witch with a magic wand
they're based out of an eldritch ruin with other allied monsters, with a hoarding dragon as nominal leader
tasked with killing some VIP adventurers in the humans town (the characters they would have played as good guys)
1st action, the runemage opens a portal to try and get the witch into place over a hero, to cast a death curse
roll to open the portal critically fails, the exit comes out somewhere unknown
"on the other side you see a bright and sunny throne room, made of gold and purple fabric, but the psychic stench of the air feels wrong. your runemage goes pale"
they close the portal
interrogate a merchant troll ally for a few minutes before buying a bow and arrow (then promptly forgetting they have it)
they go south down to the human town
stopped by nomimal allies, 2 giant wolves
pissing contest over loot and raids. they roll to insult
success, the wolves fuck off
they find a bandit ambush they have good relations with
bandit guy warns them an elf scout may have found the eldritch ruins
elf scout is a light elf female, and one of the VIPS they must kill
they arrive at the edge of town, a logging camp
party sees magitek guard drone, fails stealth check
runemage fires his own gun, fails to hit and draws the drone their way
they retreat and hide, waiting to see who comes out
male dark elf VIP (not the light elf VIP) emerges
party fails a second stealth check, VIP goes to raise the alarm
party shoots, wounds the elf, removes his ability to walk
troll immediately goes in for melee
witch casts a light shield over the troll
drones magitek memory just fucking blanks for a turn
the troll and his short, stubby, slow troll legs take several turns to actually get to the elf
shot at several times by drone and elf, lightly hit once, shield destroyed
drone gets slammed by the witch via magic force into a log pile, shot by the runemage
troll beheads the dark elf while the wounded drone gets up again
drone fires at the troll, misses
troll attempts to jump behind cover. because of short stumpy troll legs though, trips instead
witch attempts to heal troll from a distance. critical fail
she burns her finger with a spark instead, while the party mocks her for being useless and fingering herself instead
runemage rolls perfectly on a magic attack
"the runemage casually tosses a rock crystal from a pocket the drone. at the perfect point in the air, the small crystal becomes a large, heavy anvil and crushes the drone to death"
runemage loots the drone for magitek parts
troll loots the dark elf, sleeps with the corpse and has a cigarette
the party gets the hell out of dodge
troll asks to drag along the stripped elf corpse, i say yes to this.
runemage sells the parts to the merchant troll to buy better gear
troll feeds the elf corpse to a giant spider who is a door guard
they insult the witch for being useless and fingering herself once again
still 2 VIPS in their quest that need to be killed
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[–] i_scream_trucks 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
troll just wanted to fuck the dead elf.
[–] theoldones [S] ago
prioritizes fucking a corpse, dragging said corpse home, then feeding it to a monster for meat and sustenance
10/10 troll character roleplaying