Alright, so first post here, and my god I've had a little story I've wanted to tell the shitfolks here for awhile.
Okay, so I go to a physical therapist of sorts to deal with a condition I have (and somehow I haven't become 800 pounds! What a mystery!), and over the past few years she has gone from human, to high end of healthy bmi range, to smallfat, and at the rate she's going at now, she'll have likely grown herself a proper fupa by the end of the year.
So, I'm there, lying on the table. Her stomach (which is right near my face) grumbles. She tells me that her 'tummy' is asking for a sweet after her healthy breakfast. The healthy breakfast, you ask? Multiple pancakes with syrup, two bananas, nuts, oats, and a bunch of greek yogurt mixed with honey. Individually, these things sound alright. BUT ALL TOGETHER? SHE PRETTY MUCH HAD AN ENTIRE BREAKFAST MENU FOR BREAKFAST! Portion control is a myth, apparently. And then, of course, she has to have the cookie her tummy is asking for, because she's been sooo good, teehee!
I have so many stories I could tell about her and her fatmily. For example:
She told me all about how she used chocolate chips to make her daughter eat something (which she, the mother, believes to be a health food). The kicker? The 'something healthy' is friggen PANCAKES! YOU'RE PUTTING JUNK IN YOUR KID'S JUNK FOOD TO MAKE THEM EAT SOMETHING THAT IS ALREADY BORDERING ON JUNK FOOD! Needless to say, the kid is blowing up.
She also brags about her yummy, beetus inducing recipes. Next time I'm in, I'm going to ask her to tell me some in detail so I can share with you shitpeople.
I already subtly shitlord her, but more shitlording suggestions would be appreciated!