We check over the bodies, and score a scroll case written in what we assume is a form of Aquan. That’s CRAZY! We gear up, rest up, and board the world’s most awesomeest keelboat. The thing kicks more ass than Chuck Norris. We going to the big city, y’all! Yartar, here we come! We boat up the river in the stolen Waterbuggy, and suddenly, we spy these giant vultures circling, and then starting to dive RIGHT AT US!!! WTF????
Suddenly, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! What, not again!!!???!!!!
A bunch of zaps square up on the boat. WTF, there are RIDERS on those fucking vultures!!!! And they apparently can shoot fucking lightning bolts out of their crotches Not something I’d recommend, ladies, but, hey whatever floats your boat, which, ironically, is exactly WTF we are worried about - the boat staying afloat!!! We all ended up a bit singed, but swashy and the pirate fire back, Swashy with his baby arrow, and pirate with some purple lightning grabby stuff (think Emperor in RotJ, but purple.) He hooks on to one of these flying assholes. Two jump off their mounts and fucking disappear. Seriously, I’m getting the fuck tired of these clowns simply disappearing all the time. And the Potted plant isn’t even here to almost kill us.
Battle ensues. Our 3 heroes are overmatched and outgunned. They are going to die a horrible death, and will never be heard from again. Cleric prays like a mofo and creates some super protective “y god kicks your god’s ass” bubble around him. He yells out, “Hey guys, stay near me!” We jump into the bubble of badass, and anyone who tries to attack us gets fisted in the ass as soon as they get penetrated by the bubble. Warlock starts shooting his purple lasers spot on. Fucking right! Swashy can’t miss. War cleric runs up to one of the cocks who shot lightning at us and fucking caves in his skull, one shot. Holy fuck balls! Down goes another knight. Down foes another lightning bolt asshole. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPP! FUCK! Another couple of bolts go flying at us. Swashy goes down. Pirate gets scorched, but still stands. Cleric prays, swashy jumps up like the Warren Beatty character in Heaven Can Wait and is back to life.
Meanwhile, Warlock and Cleric can’t miss. Shooting and stabbing and firing lasers and blazers, and everything hits. HARD. There be damage – civil and punitive, it’s a fucking massacre of flyng fuckwads. The cleric is calling down cherubs of fury, buttfucking these airborne assholes like they were some demon-derived combination of Catholic priests and Penn State coaches. Of the 5, 2 survive, one badly injured, the other covered in self-excrement from seeing the ROYAL BADASSERY of these 3 individuals. I mean, this was like the Spartans at Thermopylae, the Texians at the Alamo, or the 7th Cav at Little Bighorn. Except, in this case, those guys WON! And it wasn’t even close. Those three sported identical 8” woodies the rest of the way to Yartar, no homo.
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[–] cyclops1771 [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
part 9 is out.
[–] [deleted] ago
[–] cyclops1771 [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Part 8