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[–] Gorak1 ago 

dude married a woman just like dear ol mom..

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[–] i_scream_trucks ago 

Almost did that myself. I'm 38 and I'm only just understanding that now.

It's not some creepy Freudian thing, it literally happens because you don't realise the way you've been raised to be as normal might not be normal. In my case my fucking psycho sister was violent and mum used to explain to me it's in my imagination and I need to grow up. So it got worse and I grew up thinking I was next to useless. It eventually broke and got to the point where I had changed my life around for everyone, mother sisters girlfriends and an ex fiance.... all who had very very similar traits... and then the patterns stood out.

It wasn't me at all. I was being dragged backwards and people wirh the same traits were what I felt was normal.

That shit won't happen again. I'm in fucking charge and what's more, I'm a fucking success in what I now do.

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[–] DanaNordic ago 

You've defined the cycle of abuse. You are absolutely right: the cycle continues because we are comfortable and familiar with dysfunctional behavior - we think it is normal.