Welcome to /v/Childfree, a place for those who have chosen not to have children.
Rules:
For members:
• Posts must be related to the Childfree lifestyle or issues that pertain to the childfree. Birth control, legislation, kids in places they typically shouldn't be, examples of good/bad parenting, childfree humor/memes, anecdotes, rants and tales of how you spent your weekend are all fair-game topics!
• Keep it civil! No bigotry, racism or hate speech. No personal attacks or abuse. Do not post anything that advocates or depicts violence to children or anyone else. No trolling! I understand once in a while you may get angry, and that is fine. But if you're only here to be nasty and not contribute, you may be warned and eventually banned.
• Don't insult or harass others outside of this subverse for simply disagreeing with you. Do not brigade other subs. Do not post links to other Voat threads; screenshots are fine. If you do visit another sub because of a post you saw here, try not to vote or comment. Since Voat does not seem to have a "no participation" system in place, we'll have to be on the honor system with this one.
For visitors:
• Don't come here just to say how much you hate this subverse and its members.
• Be kind. We don't deserve insults just because we disagree with you.
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[–] grimnir 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I have an 8yo. I never wanted to have a kid. I told myself for years that the consideration for having a kid would wait until I was in my late 20's and could properly care for it, I told significant others this as well. I'm 30 now, when I was 22 I still didn't want to have a kid, but I really wanted to have a fulfilling relationship, and unfortunately she wanted a kid. I was poor, had no good plan for getting out of it, but I worked hard and could make enough money to survive, as I had been doing since leaving school. I definitely should not have had a kid, not with her, not simply because she wanted something to validate a relationship. I still don't want a kid now, even an 8yo who loves me very much, that I care about. If I could have those 8 years of my life back I would take them immediately.
Reality however is that I'm separated, re-married to someone who is childfree and wants to remain that way, and on bad terms with her to the point I'm not sure I'll see my kid again unless I get a lawyer. My parents don't like this turn of events, and turned their back on me to keep her on good terms so they can see my kid. The expected thing to do in this situation is to get a lawyer, fight for my parental rights, establish dominance, pee on things to claim my territory, and other tedious and money-consuming things that I honestly don't care about. This makes me a bad person, and my parents make sure to remind me that I'm a bad person.
I was childfree once, I knew having kids was not something I would embrace and I made the mistake of doing it anyway. Your biological functions can wait 10-15 years, if you're not sure, keep waiting. Enjoy being childfree until you're sure you've finished your life and want to sacrifice the rest of it to a spawn of your own.
[–] babybleu 1 point 0 points 1 point (+1|-1) ago
Upvoat for the honesty.