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[–] grimnir 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I have an 8yo. I never wanted to have a kid. I told myself for years that the consideration for having a kid would wait until I was in my late 20's and could properly care for it, I told significant others this as well. I'm 30 now, when I was 22 I still didn't want to have a kid, but I really wanted to have a fulfilling relationship, and unfortunately she wanted a kid. I was poor, had no good plan for getting out of it, but I worked hard and could make enough money to survive, as I had been doing since leaving school. I definitely should not have had a kid, not with her, not simply because she wanted something to validate a relationship. I still don't want a kid now, even an 8yo who loves me very much, that I care about. If I could have those 8 years of my life back I would take them immediately.

Reality however is that I'm separated, re-married to someone who is childfree and wants to remain that way, and on bad terms with her to the point I'm not sure I'll see my kid again unless I get a lawyer. My parents don't like this turn of events, and turned their back on me to keep her on good terms so they can see my kid. The expected thing to do in this situation is to get a lawyer, fight for my parental rights, establish dominance, pee on things to claim my territory, and other tedious and money-consuming things that I honestly don't care about. This makes me a bad person, and my parents make sure to remind me that I'm a bad person.

I was childfree once, I knew having kids was not something I would embrace and I made the mistake of doing it anyway. Your biological functions can wait 10-15 years, if you're not sure, keep waiting. Enjoy being childfree until you're sure you've finished your life and want to sacrifice the rest of it to a spawn of your own.

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[–] babybleu 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

Upvoat for the honesty.