Welcome to /v/Childfree, a place for those who have chosen not to have children.
Rules:
For members:
• Posts must be related to the Childfree lifestyle or issues that pertain to the childfree. Birth control, legislation, kids in places they typically shouldn't be, examples of good/bad parenting, childfree humor/memes, anecdotes, rants and tales of how you spent your weekend are all fair-game topics!
• Keep it civil! No bigotry, racism or hate speech. No personal attacks or abuse. Do not post anything that advocates or depicts violence to children or anyone else. No trolling! I understand once in a while you may get angry, and that is fine. But if you're only here to be nasty and not contribute, you may be warned and eventually banned.
• Don't insult or harass others outside of this subverse for simply disagreeing with you. Do not brigade other subs. Do not post links to other Voat threads; screenshots are fine. If you do visit another sub because of a post you saw here, try not to vote or comment. Since Voat does not seem to have a "no participation" system in place, we'll have to be on the honor system with this one.
For visitors:
• Don't come here just to say how much you hate this subverse and its members.
• Be kind. We don't deserve insults just because we disagree with you.
Sort: Top
[–] yeahrich 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
So, this sub is great for you. You are not weird! There are lots of people like you.
These other people are speaking from their experience and who the hell are they to criticize you and your choices. I think it's foreign to them that you might not want children because they wanted them and cant relate. Then I think about how for the majority of people their biggest accomplishment in life is having a child. They put such importance on it and think you should too. I start to think that sometimes your choice to not have children threatens their very meaning of life.
I wasn't sure for most of my 20's now that I'm in my 30s I am 90% sure I do not want children. It does not take you to be or make you amazing to have a freaking baby. There are plenty of worthless people out there blindly humping and procreating.
Do you know why you do not want babies? For me it is the following top three reasons:
They cost a Ton of money and I cant afford it.
They cost a ton of time and I cannot afford it. They likely have a horrible future ahead of them cleaning up the messes of our parents and us.
Please feel free to Add to my list cause there are just so many reasons not to just go out and bring another being into this already overpopulated world.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
[–] kirlio 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Ouch.
[–] heili 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I knew I didn't want kids when I was still one myself, around age five.
I didn't know it was possible to not have kids until I was a little older, so there were a few years there that I was really fucking depressed about the thought that babies were some unavoidable thing that just happened to you once you were an adult.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
[–] heili 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
What?
I never said there was no way to be complete or fully adult without children, or even that I had that impression. What I said was that when I was five and didn't understand how babies happen and the means to prevent them from happening I was depressed as fuck because I thought they were inevitable.
And then I learned how human reproduction works and that such a thing as birth control existed.
[–] grimnir 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I have an 8yo. I never wanted to have a kid. I told myself for years that the consideration for having a kid would wait until I was in my late 20's and could properly care for it, I told significant others this as well. I'm 30 now, when I was 22 I still didn't want to have a kid, but I really wanted to have a fulfilling relationship, and unfortunately she wanted a kid. I was poor, had no good plan for getting out of it, but I worked hard and could make enough money to survive, as I had been doing since leaving school. I definitely should not have had a kid, not with her, not simply because she wanted something to validate a relationship. I still don't want a kid now, even an 8yo who loves me very much, that I care about. If I could have those 8 years of my life back I would take them immediately.
Reality however is that I'm separated, re-married to someone who is childfree and wants to remain that way, and on bad terms with her to the point I'm not sure I'll see my kid again unless I get a lawyer. My parents don't like this turn of events, and turned their back on me to keep her on good terms so they can see my kid. The expected thing to do in this situation is to get a lawyer, fight for my parental rights, establish dominance, pee on things to claim my territory, and other tedious and money-consuming things that I honestly don't care about. This makes me a bad person, and my parents make sure to remind me that I'm a bad person.
I was childfree once, I knew having kids was not something I would embrace and I made the mistake of doing it anyway. Your biological functions can wait 10-15 years, if you're not sure, keep waiting. Enjoy being childfree until you're sure you've finished your life and want to sacrifice the rest of it to a spawn of your own.
[–] babybleu 1 point 0 points 1 point (+1|-1) ago
Upvoat for the honesty.
[–] Nermal 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I was telling my family while I was still in my teens that I knew I didn't even want to consider it until my 30s. My go to response was, "ask me in 10 years" since everyone always said, "you'll change your mind when you're older."
I'm 33 now and my mind didn't change.
[–] SUGARPEAS 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I knew in elementary school. People kept asking me if I wanted to get married and have kids when I grew up. I said no to both. I'm 25 now and still feel the same. Once I start my new job and get my own insurance I'm going to try and get Essure or something so I don't have to deal with birth control anymore. Hopefully I can find a non-bigoted doctor to do it for me. :\
[–] Kvoat 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Never really wanted to have kids but always thought I might change my mind when I "grow up". I'm 25 now and I dont feel like I've grown up one bit, and I cant see it happening anytime soon. I have two step brothers that are both younger than me that have 6 kids between them and over the past few years just seeing what they are going through has been enough to solidify my position for life as far as I'm concerned.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
[–] babybleu 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Sorry, dude. That sucks, did he ever kick her to the curb?