Sherman, set the Wayback machine for 2000, that heady year when we all thought computers were going to kill us. Well, they didn't. I was at a wedding with the Mrs. (at the time) and we had gotten our first serving of food at the reception. We didn't know if it would be okay to get seconds yet, but then some kids went for seconds, so we said to each other that it was okay. Some great-aunt-in-law (or somesuch) said something like "When you two have kids, they'll lead the way for you too."
Seriously? I got Bingoed? But, I didn't want it to ruin the wedding, so I just quietly shrugged it off, and said "We're not planning to have kids." Well, Bingo wasn't enough; she had to go for Blackout: "But God wants you to have children, they're a blessing from the Lord."
Now I'm not religious, but I can play along. So now, it was Story Time. So I told her the following story:
Doctor, set the TARDIS coordinates for 1998. That heady year when we were all looking forward to Prince's career being revived next year. I was so certain I didn't want kids I sought a consultation for a vasectomy. I found a good doctor that was willing to do it, and with my insurance, the co-pay was only $50. So, I showed up on V-day, paid my $50 and went to the doctor's office. Well, there was a complication and I'd rather not spoil this lovely wedding reception with the sordid details, but it meant I'd have to reschedule so he could do the procedure at the hospital. The receptionist gave me back my $50 and told me I'd have to pay at the hospital.
So, I go to the hospital, the procedure goes perfectly, but no one asks me for any money. I check with the doctor, the hospital, and my health insurance over the next couple of months, and everyone says I'm outstanding, but my balance is not.
So, my takeaway from all of this is that not only did God want me to get a vasectomy, He paid for it.
Well, she did not have much to say after that. All of this actually did happen exactly as I said it, except that I was not as good a storyteller back then. Except for the last line which was verbatim what I said, Greataunt's version was more matter of fact than this one. I doubt I will ever again have as good a comeback to a Bingo.
TL;DR: Mine was free, thanks to God ;)