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[–] Rakosman [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

The real tragedy is that eventually I will fall asleep and burn up tomorrow (i.e., today.)

Then again, during the real manic phases I'd end up hours deep into some ridiculous project that was way over my head. I miss the inspiration though. I catch it now and then and make good progress on my hobbies.

Are you in any particular state? I always find it hard to figure out where I'm at now but it's always clear looking back.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

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[–] Rakosman [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I take 300mg of lamictal. It's not great, but it works for the most part. I am reluctant to try something else because this is one of the few that has (as far as I can tell) no side effects. Even at 300 I still get some mad swings if I'm under a lot of stress. I had a bad run with anti depressants last year, after which my meds got bumped to the 300, but I'm still not at a point where I can keep a job. Hell, I don't think I could be trusted to even keep a pet. Lately I've been focusing on getting healthy again. Running, weight training, better diet; theoretically sleep, too, but that's been proving to be a huge challenge. I've had a few people mention meditation to me. Maybe I'll try it one of these days.

I definitely feel you on the alcohol. Though, that's another thing I've been cutting back on. It usually ends up being either 1 pint, or several - no in between.

Anyways, I seriously doubt I'd survive for long if I weren't on meds. Even just the thought of going to some of those dark places freaks me out a little.

So are you on no meds, then? What all have you tried?