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[–] Raverdash 6 points 24 points (+30|-6) ago 

"Jesus loves you."

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[–] Nephilius 1 points 7 points (+8|-1) ago 

Reminds me of this...

http://i.imgur.com/AXRi1QC.jpg

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[–] El_oso_mugroso14 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Si

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[–] jeegte12 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

first of all: edgy. second of all: you probably don't find that hilarious.

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[–] Raverdash 1 points -1 points (+0|-1) ago 

I do actually. It's funny because all the other shit that lead back to "Jesus loves you" was horrible manipulative garbage. "You can't watch Care Bears, there's a character that is reminiscent of a devil and that makes Jesus sad." Essentially bullshit like that, not trying to put edge on anything. :/

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[–] VanHall 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Love in a special way.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] swmarks 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

His palms are hairy, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's semen on his sweater already...

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[–] kurfu 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

You mean I've been shaving my palms all this time for nothing?

Damn.

However, I do intend to keep the seeing eye dog.

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[–] Pm-me-your-boobs 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

I'm a Canadian born on American TV, so naturally I thought the drinking age was 21 here instead of 18, and she didn't correct me because she didn't want me to drink when I got older. I felt like troy from community when he learned not all kids do 2nd grade twice

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[–] 100011 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I'm also Canadian and there only 3 provinces that let you drink at 18 - Quebec - Alberta - Manitoba . Everywhere else in Canada it's 19 years old . How couldn't you not know the real drinking age did you go to a public school ?

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[–] Pm-me-your-boobs 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I went to public school, but I was only like 12 at the time

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[–] lubbocksux 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

You were born on TV?

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[–] vivalafreakshow 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

I was a free spirit as a toddler, I always ran around naked. So my grandma told me that flies would bite my butt unless I wore panties. After that I ran around in only panties and a hat for some reason.

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[–] kidneyshifter 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Well, you don't want to get sunburnt.

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[–] vivalafreakshow 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Sweden does not have that much sun though. I think the hat was a result of my hair being very thin and growing quite slow compared to my peers. My hair didnt grow below my chin until i was 4 or something.

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[–] NJGunslinger 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

"You are gonna grow up to be a handsome young man"

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[–] themguitarpicks 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

You haven't even reached your final form, stranger!

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[–] jeegte12 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

we're humans; our progressive forms just get worse and worse until death

[–] [deleted] 1 points 8 points (+9|-1) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Aramande 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I got a similar warning, except when the wind changed direction. I still wonder why they said it.

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[–] Chingasa 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

So you didn't walk around cross eyed, looking like an idiot and embarrassing your parents.

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[–] SirPoppycock 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

My parents always told me they'd get stuck if someone hit me in the back of the head.

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[–] jeegte12 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

to fuck with you.

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[–] gigantor 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Every time we flushed the toilet it cost him 20 dollars. My dad paid for us to go to public school. Dinosaurs were on Noah's ark. In order to marry a woman, a man had to be taller than her (I'm 5'8", most of my SOs are taller than me).

Sometimes I wonder why I'm retarded, and then I recall these things.

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[–] NotMatt 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I'm 5'8", most of my SOs are taller than me

...wait, how many do you have?!

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[–] gigantor 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I'm bad at words.

I blame my parents.

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[–] Lord-Baltimore 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

That if I picked my nose my head would cave in, that one terrified me for a while.

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